“‘Why would she feel bad?,’ I asked. It was in that moment, I knew I would never have to worry about Emma missing a piece of her heart. It never left her. Unlike her younger siblings, she has two daddies that love her. Her daddy here at home, and her daddy in heaven.”
‘Good job Mommy. You came just in time.’ I asked her why. She replied, ‘I didn’t want Addison to feel bad that I have two daddies, and she only has one.’
‘Behind closed doors, I was called ‘crazy’ and ‘too sensitive.’ We lived like roommates that slept together. I tried leaving. He promised to change, and he did, until I got pregnant again.’
“Into my life walks a man I knew since he got sober 4 years earlier. He and his girlfriend had recently broken up. I know my kids are watching us. Our children are always watching.”
‘No, we are not a same sex couple, but we do share a daughter. Not only did I gain a daughter, I gained a brother and a best friend.’
“The guy on the left is me, and the guy on the right is bio dad. This is real, and this is us.”
‘He pushed his way in. ‘Sit on the couch!,’ he demanded. He told me he was going to stay all night. I begged him to leave. Then he came up with an idea: ‘I’ll leave if you have sex with me.’
“When he was finished, he uttered the words, ‘You didn’t think I was actually going to leave, did you?’”
‘I was starting to look pregnant, my boobs were huge, and I welcomed the nausea. The image appeared on the screen. I looked intently and finally asked, ‘where’s the heartbeat?!’
“I started laughing, mostly because it couldn’t possibly be true – I felt pregnant, I looked pregnant, and a week before, things were fine. I began sobbing.”
‘I spent nearly 12 years with a man I never should’ve married. He never touched me. We fought about my weight. I was immune to anything but pain. And then I met Adam.’
“He works midnights. He came home at 8 a.m. I woke to see him singing our baby to sleep with county music.”
‘Dear husband, it’s time you know the TRUTH about Christmas. I am Santa. But this year, things are about to change.’
“I need you to stuff my stocking. That sounds perverted, but get your mind out of the gutter. I mean it in the most literal sense.”
‘I don’t know why your husband’s in pain, he has no meningitis.’ I’ll never forget when the nurse angrily said this to me when I told her my husband said his head feels like it’s on fire.’
“When I got back nurses and doctors were running in his room, yelling ‘code blue!’ I wasn’t allowed in the room – they were intubating him. I felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. I was sobbing.”
‘The day before we were supposed to fly out, we got a call. ‘We haven’t been able to reach her for 24 hours. This isn’t a good sign.’ My heart sank. We were completely shocked.’
“With tears running down my cheeks, I turned to my husband and told him the news. We were devastated. There were no red flags no warning signs. The next morning, we were called to the hospital. She was in labor – our baby girl was coming.”
‘You might look at these pictures, and feel uncomfortable. You might think, ‘I could never ‘share’ my child like that.’ She leaves the hospital with empty arms. Open adoption does not equal co-parenting.’
“During her second trimester she sent me emails letting me know about the SpaghettiOs he was making her crave. She gave us a jar of pink and blue candies and made us count every single one to find out if it was a boy or a girl. They gave them life and I am teaching them how to live it.”
