“If you can get past my pencil-thin eyebrows in this picture, then you might see LOVE. Young love. ‘What is he doing with someone your age?,’ they asked. Well, I’ve got some words for you.”
‘You’re too young to get married,’ they said. I was 22, fresh out of college. This man was 8 years my senior. ‘What do you see in him? It will never work.’
‘If I was so miserable, I should leave.’ Eventually, I did. Our marriage looked perfect on social media. We always believed in keeping our issues private.’
“Our wedding day was intimate. But behind the façade were underlying issues that left a bad taste in my mouth. I was put on the back burner. I was failing him because he was expecting me to prepare a home-cooked meal every day while also juggling maintaining a home and breastfeeding our son.”
‘I BEGGED my mom to get my stepfather out of my bed. He would just ‘fall asleep’ there. How convenient for him. I started thinking my mother knew, and just didn’t care.’
“In third grade, we moved. I thought it was so fancy! Surely nothing bad can happen in the suburbs. I slept over at my friend’s house one night, and was woken by something startling. I froze, I didn’t know what to do. I started to silently cry. ‘Why isn’t my friend waking up? If she wakes up he will stop.'”
‘Are you at work? Can you call me?’ I’m thinking, ‘Today is the day I get to meet Abigail!’ Now I’m over-excited! I call, her tone is bleak, then she begins to cry. ‘Abigail didn’t make it.’
“The unthinkable happened. Abigail’s mother no longer wanted to be around me. I was a reminder of our trauma. All together, we lost 3 children in this pregnancy. Who am I to tell her how she should feel?”
‘My husband and I took a trip. It was our first vacation together in 2 years. Long before his heart, and our world, stopped.’
“When I met my husband, the most stable man I’d ever encountered, I immediately said ‘I do.’ But we hadn’t even made it to year 7 of marriage yet, and I was itchy. Here’s why. Prior to this dream vacation, I woke up to my nightmare.”
‘When my son was 10 months old, his daddy, my husband, left. He left the state. Left me to care for a baby alone. How could this happen to me? I did everything right. It broke me.’
“In the midst of my own grief, my son still needed me, more than ever. I still felt so isolated and alone. I couldn’t just pass my kid off to someone else. He needed me.”
‘I took maternity photos in the dress I wore to my husband’s funeral.’
“I didn’t know I was pregnant on the day of the funeral. Clothes were strewn about in a panic as I rummaged through every drawer, hamper and closet 2 hours before I was supposed to meet the photographer. Then I saw it. Hanging quietly in the corner where it had remained for the last 7 months.”
‘My husband left me after going into a depression. He just kept saying it was ‘his problem.’ He decided this life, our life, wasn’t for him.’
“He was stuck in a marriage he didn’t want to be in. The night we separated he told me he loved me but, ‘Not in that way’ anymore. He told me not to cry, he couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t breathe.”
‘STEFANY! Are you out with someone else? Don’t you love me anymore? CALL ME BACK!’ Finally, I went home. ‘We have to break up.’ He starts sobbing. ‘Who is HE?!’ Something in me snapped.’
“He picked me up in his fancy car. Rented us a beach front hotel with a balcony. We had our first kiss. It was perfect. When I got home, one of his friends tried to warn me. Told me to be careful.”
‘If you do that one more time, you’re going in TIME OUT.’ As soon as that door shut, she ran over to the couch. I thought, ‘Please get down. Don’t you know I’m the fun parent?! I do books, not time out!’
“Being a stepmom is so complicated. She’d only ask her dad for things. But then, hand-foot-and-mouth disease struck our house. My husband was down for the count – which left my stepdaughter completely reliant on me. Let the games begin.”
