relax

‘Mom, can we play a board game?’ It was 7:11 a.m. ‘Right now?!’ I was groggy, drinking coffee.’: Busy mom slows down, realizes play time is ‘just what she needed’

“After I said, ‘right now?’ he gave me the look of nevermind. I saw it. He knew my question meant ‘not right now’ or ‘we’ll see’ or any of the other things I say when I don’t want to do something. ‘You’re always so busy.’ And he was right. Not in the guilt me way, but in the truth way. His words stuck with me so much as I was sitting there, I decided this morning I’d be busy in a different way. My coffee is colder. But my heart is warmer.”

‘Mama, please!,’ my daughter cried. She got in the tub, held me in silence, patting my back, giving me kisses.’: Daughter’s intuition picks up on mommy’s ‘debilitating anxiety’

“My husband swiftly removed her multiple times, as I said, ‘Mommy will be done in a minute baby, I am right here.’ I need someone to look me in the eyes and say, ‘I know you’re not okay.’ My daughter did just this for me. I try to hold it together for my child, but she knows. We sat like this for an hour. It was one of the most beautiful gifts anyone could give me.”

‘I woke with tired eyes, snappy replies. I had a mountain of laundry to start. ‘What if, for once, I wasn’t productive?’ I had this eager feeling. So, I did it. Disguised in active wear, I rented a five-dollar robe.’

“My husband and baby were gone. I shaved my leg fuzz, packed a bag, and drove to the fitness center. Now, don’t be fooled. I haven’t completely lost my mind and decided to partake in some sort of exercise. Let’s all calm down. No, no, no. This place has LOUNGERS, and ROBES, and a JACUZZI! Remember a jacuzzi?! Neither do I!”

‘My daughter saw a spa day on TV and asked if we could ‘belax’ and have one too. After some contemplation, I thought, ‘Why not?’

“My daughter’s face was priceless. She squealed just like a sweet little girl you’d see in a movie when I said yes. As mothers, it can feel like we’re barely treading water. But we must also remember that our children need time to self-care too. There’s a universe of emotion going on inside their heads each day that we don’t know about.”

‘As a mom, you just KNOW. Something didn’t feel right. Cars zipped by on the busy street. I trembled as we made our way to the front of the building. We were only a few steps away. I wanted to run, but I didn’t.’

“I wish I could’ve jumped into one of those passing cars and pretended it never happened. That I hitchhiked, ran away, disappeared. I thought we could find someone to ‘fix’ my son. As the woman in the office spoke, I couldn’t take my eyes off her mouth. I knew the word that would come. I didn’t believe her.”

 Share  Tweet