sadness

‘I’ll be back in two hours. Wait for me.’ I squeeze you one last time, kiss your cheek, tell you I love you, and leave. I hate myself for going. I was supposed to BE THERE.’: Woman shares heartbreaking last days of mother with terminal illness

“This can’t be happening.’ You were supposed to wait for me. I jump out of the still-moving car and start running to the front door. I jump on the bed and cradle your head in my arms and sob something terrible. ‘Please come back! I love you.’ I cry and scream into my pillow after they take you away in that horrible, black body bag.”

‘If you do this, Kara, you will not be able to undo it. It will be permanent, forever.’: Woman writes letter after cousin’s suicide, ‘You must not know the impact it’s going to have on the rest of us’

“If you do this, Kara, my daughter is going to ask me if she is going to die, too. I reply, ‘Everyone does die eventually.’ She is going to ask me if she will die soon or when she is bigger. I will have to admit mommies don’t actually know everything. If you do this, everyone who loves you will have their own heartbreaking story to tell about how they must now go on without you.”

‘I wish I could sugar coat it. I watched your $7 iced coffee melt while you settled the score of sibling rivalry.’: Mom says, ‘what we do as moms is not for the faint of heart’

“We were dressed semi-the same. Yesterday’s smeared makeup, leggings and a 2-minute messy bun. I watched you grab your items, round up the kids, and walk out of the store relieved it was finally over. As I awaited our turn in line, I looked down at my arguing boys tugging at each other, causing a scene. I sipped on my half-melted Starbucks drink, put my dry shampoo and concealer on the counter, and smiled.”

‘Since you’re 30 weeks, we do a mental health evaluation,’ she said matter-of-factly. I hesitated. ‘Uhhh. Okay.’: Mom shocked to be diagnosed with antepartum depression, depression during pregnancy, after nurse midwife surprised her with ‘mental health evaluation’

“Immediately, the nurse midwife started asking me questions. ‘In the last 2 weeks, have you had thoughts of harming yourself or taking your own life most days, some days, or not at all?’ Me: ‘Most days.’ My throat became dry and tight. I couldn’t hide it anymore.”

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