savior

‘I don’t want this life. I’m not cut out for this!’ I heard ‘I’m sorry’ on the other end. Adrenaline began, my face got hot. Then the tears started to roll.’: Boy with down syndrome diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia

“Oliver was on vacation with his dad when I got the call. ‘He stopped walking.’ Weeks pass. His lymph nodes are swollen. Something just wasn’t right. I remember telling my boss, ‘I have to leave!’ Before I could even get a response, I was gone. I’m worried the ER doctor missed something. The doctor is quiet. I can see in her eyes she is trying to stay calm for me, but something is there. I scream. Deep down, she knows something I don’t.”

‘Do you want to hold her?’ My husband cradled her in his arms, weeping. ‘I just love her so much.’ My lungs burned as I gasped for air.’: Parents lose daughter to Anencephaly, ‘My husband fell to his knees’

“I collapsed over her body that no longer held the warmth and softness of a newborn. Nothing was going to bring her back. She was finally healed. Safe. Free of pain. I kissed her forehead. A final goodbye. My husband was escorted out of the room by the funeral director. I saw my daughter’s body leave forever, safe in her daddy’s arms. Stop. Stop. Stop the car. I can’t do this. I can’t go home. He rubbed my hand. ‘Let’s go to a hotel…’ We slept hard that night and awoke to a new day. A new, unwanted step we had to take without our baby girl.”

‘Sweet boy, Mommy and Daddy love you so much.’ His silent 3-pound body was wrapped in a blanket.’: Parents of child loss know they will see son ‘in heaven,’ celebrate living twin’s life while grieving their loss

“We cried, touching him gently. The room was filled with silence. ‘What color would you like Noah’s casket?’ ‘What outfit will he be buried in?’ I struggled to answer. I couldn’t stop thinking, ‘I’m not supposed to be making these decisions. Parents aren’t supposed to bury their children.’ We celebrate his twin brother Liam as we grieve Noah. But death is not the end. We will see Noah in heaven some day.”

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