self doubt

‘My ears got hot, my blood was boiling. I took a screen shot of his soul-crushing report card. My mommy instinct was pissed.’: Mom appalled by son with Down syndrome’s report card, ‘Stay angry. Keep fighting for your child.’

“The envelope showed up in Judah’s backpack. I wasn’t expecting his report card, but I was eager to see how the goals we put in place manifested themselves. Imagine my surprise when that paper was littered with the lowest scores possible. My stomach lurched. My logical brain understood, but my mommy instinct was still pissed. Imagine how this little boy will feel when he understands what those 1’s will signify?!”

‘Even if you lose the weight, you’ll just gain it all back. This is too hard for you.’ I felt sloppy and ashamed of my mom pooch.’: Mom of 3 dedicates to a healthy, positive lifestyle through ‘self-acceptance and love’

“I noticed it first in my wedding photos. I didn’t even want to have pictures hanging around my house because I didn’t like the chubby arms and wide face that glared back at me. I have only 2 pictures of my baby bump during my first pregnancy. I was so uncomfortable that I didn’t want any photos of my bare belly those 9 months. There was a dress I found that covered my body well and made me look ‘okay enough,’ so I bought it in 4 colors. I knew something had to change.”

‘I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. I’m too loud, too quiet. We try so hard to bend 50 different ways to fit a mold, but why? For what?’: Woman learns to accept herself as is

“We over-analyze texts. We wonder why we didn’t get the invite. We see glances, whispers and assume they’re directed at us. We waste so much of our time worrying about other people’s opinions only to leave ourselves feeling empty. But, why? For what? This is YOUR journey. Stop doubting your own decisions. Stop looking over your shoulder. Stop trying to please everyone else.”

‘There’s no quick fix. There WILL always be a next panic attack, a next day of self-harm or cloud of doubt. I started to feel I wasn’t enough for him. I couldn’t pray away the dark times.’

“There’s nothing I want more than to see his beautiful smile. But part of being in love with someone struggling with mental health is dealing with the ugly. It’s true what they say. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. But there’s also a damn dimmer switch in that tunnel too.”

‘The self-talk has to stop. Motherhood is not sunshine and rainbows. It’s mundane many days. I lose my patience. I screw up. I have unwashed dishes in the sink, crumbs on the floor.’

“There’s guilt. Pressure. Unrealistic expectations. How many times have you lain awake going through the to-do list of tomorrow while thinking about everything you didn’t accomplish today? All of the ‘should haves’ replaying in your mind. How are we ever going to get ahead when we are stuck in the guilt of yesterday?”

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