self harm

‘Half my bowel was coming out of my body. The doctor said, ‘Hannah, I have no idea what to do with you anymore.’: Woman survives life-long battle with eating disorders after trauma, ‘There is always hope for change’

“Laxatives started out so innocently, but quickly took over my life. ‘You’re not allowed outside. Any change in temperature and you’ll collapse and die.’ I started starving myself at 6. I could no longer move or talk. My lips were going purple. A light bulb went off. If I wanted to see change, I needed to be the one to make the change.”

‘He said I was a hypochondriac and was faking. ’You must be enjoying the attention.’ I became extremely nauseous, dizzy, shaky, and felt like I was going to pass out.’: Woman with bulimia, POTS, MCAS, EDS struggles for symptoms to be believed

“I don’t remember losing consciousness. Everything happened so fast, the next thing I can clearly remember is lying flat. I was sitting there, in a wheelchair, and he said I was a hypochondriac and was faking. I left his office in tears.”

‘I remember saying the very words, ‘Not her.’ That was my breaking point. Hurt me, but not my sister. I threatened to tell my mommy what they did.’: After surviving abuse, cancer woman says ‘sometimes just having someone to talk to is enough’

“I tried to hide it from my parents but their child had changed and they knew something had happened. I walked onto the bridge with tears in my eyes. This is how I would do it. She watched me, and through the grace of God, decided she should call the police. This woman, I truly believe, was an angel.”

‘At 12, the psychiatrist gave an ultimatum. ‘If you don’t gain 0.2 pounds by Monday, I’m sticking a tube down your throat and admitting you to the psych ward.’: Anorexia survivor says ‘recovery is a choice I make every day’

“I cheated my way out, really believing the worst was over. That lasted 12 hours. My mom took me to the supermarket to buy a birthday cake for my friend. I stood in the cake aisle and started to panic. I couldn’t do it. I was so consumed by it, even looking at the cake felt like something I’d have to punish myself for. I left the story empty-handed and in tears. I didn’t think I’d live to see my 15th birthday.”

‘All they see is ‘locked in his room’ and immediately jump to ‘savior’ mode.’They call CPS without knowing the damage it can do.’: Mom of bipolar, autistic son advocates for mental health, ‘Each victory makes us stronger’

“He has been up till 2:00 a.m. every night the past four nights. I can see the exhaustion in his eyes, but his brain is on rapid-fire mode. I feel like a horrible mom sitting on the floor in the hall outside his room, which is locked, listening to him.”

‘Flesh was hanging off the roof of his mouth. ‘Your son has no immune system to fight this.’ We were trapped inside the house for months in total isolation.’: Mom to medically complex, autistic sons urges ‘find your village’

“His lesions were so severe he couldn’t eat. Rashes covered his entire body. We had to inject him with Pedialyte every 15 minutes just to keep him from passing out. In the midst of trying to be a normal family of 3, we suffered 3 miscarriages. Here we were, emotionally and physically exhausted, still yearning for hope. Little did we know, after 11 pregnancies, baby B would surprise us with blood in his diaper at just 2 months old. We knew something was terribly wrong.”

‘He bribed me to kiss him like lovers do. He had to ‘teach me.’ He did things fathers should never do to their daughters.’: Child abuse survivor encourages others, ‘Be free. You deserve it.’

“My father would permit himself to watch me as I took showers. My father had to ‘teach me’ so when I started dating, I would be ‘prepared.’ I froze in disbelief. The fear of sending my father back to jail was far worse than speaking up of the wrongdoings. Who else would support my family and me? I wanted to scream, ‘I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!’ I can’t emphasize enough YOU are not alone. I was stronger than I thought. You are now in a safe place.”

‘So she’ll always be sick?’ I leave the office with an answer but no cure. ‘I’m not dying. I’m just 16 and past my prime.’: Chronic illness warrior battles lupus and fibromyalgia

“’Maybe if I drank bleach,’ I think. I feel so dirty, tired and stiff. ‘Maybe if I turned inside-out and scrubbed my veins out with soap.’ Surely the disease would be eradicated. I’m supposed to find out today. I tap my foot. ‘Remember to breathe, you have to breathe, just breathe.’ Dr. Box settles into his rolling chair. ‘So she’ll always be sick?’ ‘Yes, but we caught it early.’ Yesterday, I dropped my hairbrush. I couldn’t finish. My hair is still knotted in the back. Last week, I passed out briefly, stepping out of the shower. And this was an improvement.”

‘What will you tell your kids? They look trashy.’ I’ll tell them what my tattoos mean to me.’: After lupus diagnosis, sexual assault survivor uses to tattoos to ‘help me reclaim myself’

“Unsolicited, I have been ‘advised’ on my body art. I’ve been asked, in horror, ‘What will you tell your kids?’ I’ll tell them what my tattoos mean to me, and when they’re older, they can get tattoos if they want them. ‘You’re inviting people to judge you.’ Actually no, I’m not. ‘Can you get a job with those?’ Firstly, none of your business. Secondly, yes. Then there are the people who find my tattoos TOO appealing. ‘Where ELSE are you inked?’ ‘So, you like pain, huh?’ ‘Wanna see MY tattoo?’ Seriously, be less sleazy.”

 Share  Tweet