self worth

‘You’re an angel,’ he said to me after a night of being told I was worthless. The sun started to shine through the window, it reeked of booze and I had yet to sleep. I wanted to be that ‘angel.’

“My grandma passed away, and everything came crumbling down around me. I was alone. I needed him more than anything now. I needed his support, I needed him to hold me and listen to the speech I had prepared for her funeral. Instead, he did the exact opposite. ‘I need space,’ he said. SPACE?!”

‘We’re broke. We’re $100 thousand in debt.’ He sent it to an online ‘camgirl.’ He is a porn addict, and has been since before he met me. I sat stunned, staring at him.’

“‘I lent a friend money. It’s gone. We’re not getting it back,’ he said. I was frozen. ‘How much money?’ My heart was racing. ‘Five thousand dollars?’ ‘Higher,’ he said between sobs. ‘TEN thousand? Twenty five? Fifty?’ I started to feel ill. It turns out, my husband hadn’t lent the money to a friend at all.”

‘I got implants after having a baby. I truly thought, ‘No big deal.’ I started having pain, EVERYWHERE. I pulled in to a gas station and called my husband. ‘SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME.’

“Then one day I met someone. I started reading the posts and asking questions. I found woman after woman with stories that mirrored mine. They were ME! I was THEM! Some were so sick they were on the verge of death, LITERALLY. This is when everything changed. Suddenly, I knew I needed to get them out of me ASAP.”

‘We moved in together. He was back and forth between me and the girl he was messaging. When I’d try to date someone else, he’d be back on my door step asking for another chance.’

“I’d always take him back. Any extra money I made was used to try and convince him I could love him more. Eventually, my best friend suggested I give up the fight and look into online dating. ‘It’s just nice to meet people you don’t know.’ I only ever sent one message. My life changed forever.”

 Share  Tweet