“I came home from school. No one was home. I went up to my room, and opened my window. ‘If I jump, who would even miss me?’ All of a sudden, I was overcome with emotions. ‘My beautiful daughter, do not do this.'”
“He told me to unblock my ex’s number. At 2 a.m., he messaged me. ‘I know I’m not supposed to be talking to you, but I wanted to reach out to see how you were doing.’
‘An older man said to my sister, ‘Let me get a taste of that.’ He was sticking his tongue out and wiggling it. She instantly turned red. She was 12. He laughed and I did, too. I don’t know why, but I did.’
“This is what it REALLY means to be a man. It’s kissing my wife’s stomach and telling her she’s beautiful, even with her c-section scar and stretch marks. It’s telling my daughter ‘Honey, OWN that Jersey’ when she comes home from school crying after a boy told her to take it off because girls ‘don’t play’ sports.”
‘My boss asked me, ‘Are you a virgin?’ I was shocked. He said, ‘We as older people don’t do it like you anymore.’ He took the longest way to get there, but I kept quiet. HE’S MY BOSS, after all.’
“As we got inside, I felt him looking at me. You just get the feeling when someone stares at you. I turned around. He stared at me. I was uncomfortable. He was 30 years older than me. I was scared to go to work. But I faced him. I faced my fears.”
‘Just be a good boy and relax,’ he said. He was my teacher. Other men watched. Next was a priest and a trio of monks. I was 11 and my parents didn’t know.’
“I put on my backpack, left school, and walked across the street. I was surprised to be greeted by two smiling men who didn’t offer me a Coke, but real alcohol. I was flattered to be included in such grown-up activity. All three of us got into the car. I was naïve to their motives.”
‘The guy who brought me to the party passed out. I should have left him, but I’m a loyal person. I fell asleep and was awoken by a man’s body on top of mine. I couldn’t move and yelled for help.’
“I remember telling my mom, ‘I would die if something happened to you.’ She always reassured me, ‘I’m not going anywhere Erica.’ I whole-heartedly believed she would live forever. Then she started complaining of severe headaches. Selfishly, I thought, ‘Well if God took my Grannie, he can’t take my mom too.'”
‘I felt cold hands. He was a pastor. I laid there, stiff and mute, pretending to be asleep. ‘Get used to this. Your mom agrees it’s okay. It’s in the Bible.’
“‘I’ve gotten a vasectomy. That means you can’t get pregnant. You don’t need to worry about anything.’ He slipped 20 dollars in my pocket. ‘You’ve done good,’ he said. ‘We’re sending you back to your biological family.’ I was confused and afraid.”
‘I was 4 years old. I had on my plaid dress. He interrupted my nap and locked the bedroom door. When I told my dad, he said, ‘WHY did you need to share this? Can’t you see how upset your mother is?’
“I remember the pillow soaking with tears as he shushed me. I never meant to tell anyone. It was a secret I had decided to carry to the grave.”
‘Look at that fine a**.’ He followed me down the sidewalk. I felt that familiar tension in my chest and a knot in my throat. I was disgusted by my own skin.’
“I was bombarded with numerous questions. ‘What were you wearing?’ ‘Did you make them think you wanted it?’ ‘Why were you walking by yourself?’ For years, I recoiled at anything that made me feel sexy.”
‘I bet all the girls at school have a crush on you,’ he said. He tore a receipt and wrote his phone number down. I walked out of my front door on a school night and hopped in his car.’
“My mom was distracted when he passed the information to me and said, ‘I would love to help you figure out what you want to do when you grow up.’ Then my mom chimed in about how great I was at sales. That was his siren. That was his bridge. That was his free ticket.”
‘I had a vivid dream someone broke into my house. At 5 a.m. the next morning, I awoke to a man crouched on the side of my bed with a knife in hand. My gift began at an early age.’
“I warned him, ‘Something horrible is going to happen.’ He wrote down my dream in his journal and carried it in his backpack. I received his call later. ‘Everything you said was true!'”
