SIDS

‘Please God, give her back! We already knew, she’s gone. I was weak from grief.’: Mom recalls loss of daughter, uses music to keep her memory alive, ‘No matter what I’m singing, I know she’s there, because she is my song’

“It was just me and Alice at the hospital. There was a soft glow from the bathroom, the door barely cracked. She laid on my chest, we were just there together, soaking each other in. Time stood still. She was so feminine, petite. I say, ‘I know whenever I sing, you are there,’ and I truly mean it. It’s as if I am sharing my beautiful, perfect daughter, and that brings me joy. I would find her singing to herself in her bed. I knew we would be connected through music forever.”

‘She had a holiday announcement planned ‘just in case.’ She doesn’t have life growing in her belly, but she has hope in her heart.’: Woman applauds all women waiting to become mothers ‘even when our bodies fail us’

“The holiday season is freshly fading, and that means pregnancy announcements have rolled out on social media. Here is to ‘that’ momma. The one who is still waiting, looking at one evil line on a pee stick. The one grieving a life she was so in love with. The one who has children of her own, but so desperately wants to give her husband a child with his DNA. The one who is tired of trying, and sad she is starting to give up.”

‘It’s NOT postpartum depression. You aren’t suicidal.’ She said to buy essential oils. I feared the worst.:’ Mom’s postpartum depression dismissed for years, ‘I finally have the right people behind me’

“I smashed the window of our door while holding my child. I knew something wasn’t right. She told me, ‘You should calm down because stress can pass to your breast milk and upset your baby’s stomach.’ I had all these terrifying thoughts of what could happen to him. I said, ‘This is why we lose SO MANY women during the postpartum period. We get ignored.'”

‘Why did you have another baby?’ I try to not bury myself with my son, but to live better because he had lived.’: Mom finds ‘gratitude’ in grief after losing son, ‘goodness is all around, if I just take a moment to see it’

“My new daughter sleeping should be a scene of total peace, and yet it’s terrifying. The ugly, hateful words swirl in my mind. ‘Life can’t really be good again, can it?’ ‘If something happens to her, then everyone will know what an awful mother you are.’ Child loss leads you to a crossroads—a choice between becoming bitter or becoming better.”

‘Has she been active? When did she last move?’ They laid her in my arms. Her little body already changed.’: Couple loses daughter in tragic ‘freak accident’ still birth, ‘I will not get over it’over it’

“She was perfectly formed. She had long, narrow toes like her Mama, full beautiful lips like her Daddy. It took my breath away. I was in love. But our sweet baby wasn’t there. We held and kissed her 1,000 times. ‘We will miss you every moment of our lives,’ we told her. I could almost hear her coo. We said goodbye to her little body. They carried her away.”

‘Congrats on the baby! SOOO happy for you.’ What kind of sick joke was this?! My heart dropped.’: Woman shattered by maternity company’s insensitive ‘marketing strategy’ after miscarriage, ‘you can’t take it back’

“After miscarrying in public, I received a pink envelope in the mail. ‘Congrats! You’re gonna have a baby! Hope you enjoy these! Love, Jenny B.’ Inside, maternity coupons, gift cards totaling $245. I didn’t know a Jenny B. The wound in my heart I’d tried to heal re-opened. I collapsed in my mother’s arms. Dear maternity company, you didn’t care about the woman struggling to conceive, the woman who just lost a baby. You cared about money.”

‘Stop trying.’ He wasn’t coming back. That pale, limp body wasn’t my son. I pounded the wall.’: Mom insists rainbow baby ‘helped fill the void’ after son’s death, ‘she’s my reason to keep going’

“‘Why my son?! Why me?!’ We went home and packed up his clothes, toys. His grandparents held onto everything else. We couldn’t bear to. But we destroyed the Rock ‘n Play he died in. I’ve seen news stories about their recalls. Of course, it makes me wonder if that’s what happened to my son. We will never know. Within weeks of his passing, I was pregnant. Intentionally. Family was concerned. I didn’t care.”

‘Blake’s not breathing!’ The daycare called. He was laid on his back, and found face down in the pack n’ play.’: Mom sees ‘signs from heaven’ after losing son to SIDS, delivering 2 rainbow babies

“I didn’t get any more details than that. I hung up, flew out the door. ‘Who are you here to see?’ the ER receptionist said to me. The girl beside her hit her on the arm. ‘She is THAT baby’s mom!’ She then asked for my insurance card. ‘Please, I need to see my baby!’ Before I walked through the door, I thought I heard a baby cry. I thought I had more time.”

‘Is this the last time I can kiss him?’ I’d just learned my baby had Down syndrome. Now, he was blue, floppy, and not breathing.’: Mom says baby with Down syndrome, heart defects has taught her to ‘focus on the positive things in life’

“5 minutes into our drive, he began crying but stopped. I found it odd. It was a cry I hadn’t heard before. The light turned red, I pulled over. In seconds, I was down on my knees in the middle of the road, holding my floppy baby. ‘God, this can’t be it. Please don’t take my baby away!’ Giving mouth to mouth, I screamed his name for him to wake up. When he ambulance arrived, Noah was going in and out of consciousness.”

‘This morning, your son died. You stare at the ceiling, hoping your nightmare will be over. I know.’: Mom pens haunting letter to her ‘past self’ warning of grief she’s about to endure

“Right now it feels hopeless. As you hold your lifeless baby in your arms, you’re silently pleading for a miracle you know won’t come. You’re aching, screaming inside. Every tear that falls on his still face feels like a piece of your soul trying to seep life back into him. Every breath you take feels like betrayal. How can you, when he is not. I know.”

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