“I was always told to wait for the man who would bring me flowers, hold the door open, and buy me jewelry just because. But the man I’m so grateful I waited for, is the man who does things in silence.”
‘My husband grabbed my hand as we were driving. ‘Just breathe, babe…’ It started like always. The heavy breathing. The sweaty hands. The turning stomach.’: Woman says ‘he doesn’t buy me flowers, but he sits with me in my lowest moments’
Reflections from a Token Black Friend
“There is no escape. There is no level of success that will spare you. We are black men, and that is all that matters to some. Many white people do not understand their level of ignorance — especially the good ones.”
‘I sat on my couch, white privileged, inside of my comfortable home, and realized the world hasn’t gone mad. The world IS mad.’: Woman explains her anxiety of being quiet, ‘I worry my silence offends you’
“I worry that my silence offends you. I don’t get it like others get it. And, for that reason, I stay quiet.”
‘You both seemed fine.’ I said. ‘Were you two fighting behind closed doors or something?’ I was on the phone with a divorced friend. I didn’t know what to say. She’d been married 13 years.’
“Then I thought about the night my father left. He came home and told my mother he’d been having an affair, and that he was leaving. I remember it being church quiet. It was an eerie, weighty silence I didn’t understand then.”
‘Just as I was attempting to fall asleep, I heard my oldest son whimpering in his room. This is so unusual that I raced down the hallway to check on him.’
“I cried a little bit thinking about my dad and how much I miss him and wish he were here. I fell asleep for a bit, but a weird dream jolted me awake. There were some creaks. Then, there was silence.”
‘The doctor starts clicking away on the ultrasound machine, trying to get a better look. ‘Well, you are pregnant.’ He said it looked ‘good.’ Then, he went silent.’
“I woke up at 1 a.m. on our wedding anniversary, and felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. This wasn’t unusual. I had been pregnant for over a month. But something didn’t feel right.”
‘We had a school lockdown. We weren’t sure if it was a drill. Something seemed off. It was rushed and abrupt. I had pangs of worry, but didn’t show it.’
“One tall football player who looked like a grown man, beard and all, pressed me with questions I didn’t want to answer. The classroom was full, and all eyes were on me. A group text with my colleagues had begun. Rumors of a gun in the school. My insides knotted up.”
‘I felt something hit my butt. ‘Do it again,’ I heard someone say. They snickered.’: Woman feels guilt over pressing charges after sexual assault, then demands, ‘I’ll see you in court.’
“Less than a minute later, I felt someone slowly run their fingers over my right butt cheek from the bottom and squeeze. I was wearing a long, velvet skirt – I could feel it all – and the heat of his hand. I pushed him backward and screamed, ‘Don’t you ever touch a woman like that!’ He gave me a dopey face and put his hands up in the air, as if pleading innocence. ‘Come on, it’s a compliment.’ I was hot with anger.”
You’re Going To Miss It
One day you’re going to miss it. One day there will be a peaceful silence while you go to the bathroom instead of small hands busting through the door or someone wailing bloody murder outside with an owie until you jump off the toilet holding your pants in a panic. One day you’ll miss the …
