“The first time I saw her, I wondered if the nurse was handing me my baby, or someone else’s. I waited a few seconds for someone to tell me there was a mix up. ‘She’s so beautiful,’ the nurse said. My husband was also in denial, but reality was staring us in the face.”
I was quite surprised by how white she was. ‘Perhaps she’s just very fair in complexion,’ I thought. I envied other black babies and thought, ‘Why me? How did I get black and white twins?’
‘I looked at my mom, tears welling up. ‘Was I adopted?’ She knew this day would happen. She knew I’d want to know. My answer was a few clicks away.’
“I opened an unknown can of worms. Things started swirling in my head. ‘Was I not loved? Am I not worthy? Do I have siblings?’ I started at my computer screen. Same eye shape, same smile. I finally clicked send. Within a half hour, she responded. The pit of my stomach felt so sick.”
‘Did you give her that hickey on her chest?’ I had a low-cut dress on my husband likes. ‘No, she had cancer. That is her scar.’ Sadly, it didn’t end there.’
“My husband and I were on a date. One of these women leaned over to my husband and asked him this question. Then, the ladies told me I should ‘get a tattoo to cover up my scar.’ I have to tell you, they got to me.”
‘We went to ‘suicide high.’ I still can’t wrap my head around it. My sister was close to the crew of kids killing themselves. Every time the doorbell rang, I was terrified she was next on the list.’
“I was nervous. We approached her. ‘Hey, do you remember me?,’ my sister asked. ‘How could I forget a troubled soul like you?,’ she replied. ‘Thanks for being the teacher who saved my life. I needed to tell you in person.’”
‘My mother didn’t invite me to her wedding.’
“My boyfriend and I went over mom’s house. As we were leaving, she nonchalantly said, ‘Bob and I are getting married on Saturday. Just a small thing. No one is really going to be there. You’re probably working right?’ My mom was embarrassed by me.”
‘I held my baby girl in my arms, staring in awe at my exhausted sister. She had just given birth to my daughter, and I was completely overwhelmed.’
“My husband and I were at the grocery store. ‘Michelle’s FaceTiming me—mind if I pick up?’ My sister rarely called. ‘Is Ben with you?’ I’ll never forget her next words: ‘Let’s make a baby!’ ‘What??’ I stammered, making sure I heard her correctly. ‘I’m going to be your surrogate!’”
‘My son was screaming, ‘That thing on her chest popped!’ The doctor bandaged it up and told me to change it once a day. Um, yeah. Ok. Have you ever tried taking a bandage off a 4-year-old? Like giving a cat a bath.’
“My son came in. He knew he had to act. He took a bandage from the counter and presented his little sister with a simple question. ‘If I put this bandage on me, and let you take it off, will you let Mom take off yours?’ She pondered the idea, then nodded in agreement. He was going to protect her forever.”
‘As a mom, you just KNOW. Something didn’t feel right. Cars zipped by on the busy street. I trembled as we made our way to the front of the building. We were only a few steps away. I wanted to run, but I didn’t.’
“I wish I could’ve jumped into one of those passing cars and pretended it never happened. That I hitchhiked, ran away, disappeared. I thought we could find someone to ‘fix’ my son. As the woman in the office spoke, I couldn’t take my eyes off her mouth. I knew the word that would come. I didn’t believe her.”
‘I drove by the cemetery where I buried my best friend. I walked briskly to the place I remembered, but couldn’t find his headstone. Hot, surging anger coursed through my body.’
“I paced a few hundred yards along the plot, sure it was there. But none of the names on the headstones were his. My anger brought a prick of tears to my eyes. Grief struck. Maybe it was the next plot over? But the next plot didn’t reveal his headstone either.”
‘I really messed up Will. I’ll call you soon.’ Nothing prepares you for this. I pulled over and lost it. I look back at conversations I had with my sister and tears run down my cheek.’
“Emily was such a gifted kid. I was the jealous older brother. I always thought she would be going places. Until things changed. We received a large inheritance from our grandmother’s passing. It was like a switch. ‘I never want to see or speak to you again,’ I said to my sister.”
