sleep deprivation

‘Stop, you’re holding him too close.’ I ignored them, rarely letting go. I assumed everyone was this fiercely protective.’: Mom shares battle with postpartum anxiety, ‘I had no idea why I was suffering’

“Night upon night were panic-filled dreams, cold sweats. I’d frantically fumble through the sheets in search of my baby, who I was convinced I’d rolled on in my extreme state of exhaustion. Everywhere we went, I envisioned horrible things. I became the mother who hovered beneath the play equipment and fed only pureed food in fear he would choke. My mom friends stopped trying. Offers for play-dates and coffee meets ceased.”

‘I know having a baby changes your life, but there’s no way it can be THAT hard. I take care of babies for a living.’: Nurse pokes fun at herself after learning the trails of motherhood

“For years, I’d been caring for babies as a nurse. I would clock in to take care of a postpartum couplet for 12-ish hours and clock out. But you know what I hadn’t done? Stayed up all night with a baby for days on end. I hadn’t tried to invent new ways to soothe a screaming baby on ZERO mental reserves. I hadn’t worked a 24-hour on-call shift taking care of someone elses baby while my heart physically ached for my own.”

‘You don’t cook enough. Your husband would be better off without you.’ I’m suicidal, but I don’t want to die.’: Woman battling suicide urges us to ‘speak out’ during mental turmoil, ‘it will save your life’

“I am an outgoing and relatively happy woman, but my hormones were out of whack. I was sleep deprived. ‘You talk too much. You slacked on the laundry and now look at this pile! Your car is disgusting. Your friends are tired of your complaining.’ Something inside said, ‘Tell your husband.’ I was scared. If I lost my battle with my mind, he would never forgive himself.”

‘I had a hard time clothing her. I was sure I’d break her neck.’: New mom recalls ‘mean, vicious cold days’ in throes of postpartum anxiety

“I had been placed in a small, windowless hospital room that was 80 degrees. I was rotating between sweating because I was warm to shivering from having cold sweats. The medicines from labor were messing with me. I tried to keep it together but whenever a nurse left my room, I burst out crying. There was so much paperwork to fill out. I was alone.”

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