“I woke up on Sunday like normal. I had broken plans with my boyfriend earlier in the week. We were supposed to go to a friend’s house to watch the Super Bowl with them. Out of nowhere I started feeling SO guilty about not being there. And it happens. I break.”
‘While sobbing like a teenager who was stood up at prom, I finally found it. I am fighting for my sanity and for my life.’: Woman diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder says ‘you are not alone’
‘Mommy, can I sleep with you?’ Sleep was so very important to me. I’d give up food before sleep.’: Mom says when it comes to ‘sleep’ for now, her answer will always be ‘yes’
“I was particularly comfortable, stretched out in my tempur-pedic dream bed. I was mid-dream when I felt a poke. Startled, I looked up to find my son at my bedside. He leaned in and whispered, ‘Mommy, can I sleep with you?’ I looked at the clock. It was 1:18am. It’s been 700+ nights now, and each and every night he comes to my bedside.”
‘Mom hack level 1,000. Worried about the nights in the hospital with your newborn and dad sleeping? Don’t forget one of these in your hospital bag.’: Mom’s hilarious hack is what all new moms need
“I asked him to get me something from my bag. He said, ‘Ummm why is there a Nerf gun in here?’”
‘I send mind blowing messages that get him going. ‘Hey, buy the super absorbent pads, it’s raining Niagara Falls over here. And the baby vomited in my mouth, so some mouthwash, too.’: Mom hilariously recalls differences in sex life after you have children
“Dirty talk for me as a mother now is looking at my husband like I’m Post Malone (frizzy flyaway hair included) who’s smoked a few too many J’s with the sultriest voice I have and say, ‘I’ve showered today,’ flicking my nana undies at him. And him giving me the nod replying, ‘How tired are you?’”
‘My kids don’t have a bedtime. It’s simple. We sleep when we’re tired.’: Mom claims kids are ‘flourishing’ after getting rid of bedtimes, ‘I love the freedom it gives us!’
“At 7 p.m. all the houses around the country breathe a sigh of relief at the end of the day when parenting ends and ‘me time’ begins. That is simply not the case for me. My kids go to bed late and wake up late. And that’s okay. Children are more capable at recognizing what they need than we give them credit for.”
‘There is a silent tragedy right now, in our homes, and it concerns our most precious jewels – our children.’: Occupational therapist addresses child mental illness epidemic, ‘We have to wake up!’
“I have witnessed this tragedy unfolding right in front of my eyes. Our children are in a devastating emotional state! No, ‘they all are just born like this’ is not the answer. No, ‘it is all the school system’s fault’ is not the answer. As painful as it can be to admit, in many cases, WE, parents, are the answer to many of our kids’ struggles! We must make changes before this entire generation of children will be medicated.”
‘Sometimes, you just end up with the kid that doesn’t sleep. Can we stop telling parents to FIX this?: Mom encourages us to ‘praise’ parents, ‘we are doing the best darn job we can’
“I was that mom, too. With the busy fingers. Googling all the things wrong with my child because he would. not. sleep. Everyone and their mom told me something was WRONG with him. So, I OBSESSED. Don’t co-sleep. Co-sleep. Don’t sleep train. Sleep train. No night feed. Night feed. Oh holy night, guys. ENOUGH. We don’t need a dependent little munchkin that will roll into med school with a binkie and a lovey. Some. Babies. Don’t. Sleep.”
‘I wasn’t thankful last night. I can be a real witch at bedtime. It saddens so much to admit that.’: Mom ‘upset, frustrated’ kids climb in bed with her at night, ‘I threw in the towel’
“We’ll call bedtime ‘rest,’ because it sure as hell isn’t a good night’s sleep. So, when one of my kids can’t fall asleep, it freakin’ frustrates the heck out of me. Then I feel guilty because my poor child is frustrated she can’t sleep, and here I am, making it worse by getting upset with her. I wasn’t thankful last night. Nope. But then she puts her head on my chest.”
‘I went back to work. We needed an income. I’m just going to say it, I don’t feel guilty. I love it.’: Mom enters workforce after 5-year break raising babies, ‘I still wanted my identity’
“Love makes a home, but it doesn’t keep one, and we needed an income. Is there guilt? Well, I listened to the PTA president of my kid’s school talk about how good it is for mothers to be involved. Thanks Betty! Perfect timing. Then there’s missing the baby because he’s asleep when you left, and asleep when you get home. But I’m just going to say it, I don’t feel guilty. I love it.”
‘Can you play baby shark?’ Repeat for 68 hours. Ask someone to cough in your eyeball. Poo with the door open.’: Mom hilariously points out how to ‘prepare for children,’ warning you’re not ready
“Try to unwrap a lollipop in 3 seconds flat. Set a loud timer that screams at you if you fail. Buckle up an octopus in a car seat. Get 3 monkeys and drive around with them. Give them popcorn and honey. Make a snack every 7 minutes. Go to bed Get up again.”
