“I was about to move out, but I found out I was pregnant. I was running on fumes. I felt like I’d made a huge mistake becoming a mom. I wasn’t good at this. I drank to cope. My marriage ended explosively. I finally decided enough was enough when my daughter started copying everything I do. She reached for my beer, and I remember deciding, it was time to be done. For good. That was 8 months ago.”
‘She may never walk again,’ my doctor said. ‘Like hell,’ I thought. I was 17. I’d been in a car accident.’: Single mom overcomes crippling car accident, alcoholism, daughter’s autism diagnosis, says ‘don’t count yourself out’
‘I’d always drank too much. I never thought it would get worse when I had children.’: Mom admits ‘wine o’clock’ was always on her mind, when she turned to alcohol to cope, she ‘never saw it coming’
“Having breastfed my little one for 18 months in a sleep deprived haze, the day after I stopped, I quickly went back to bad habits. All of a sudden I was ‘allowed’ to drink in excess again. I thought this was what I deserved. It was my time. ‘Wine o’clock’ was always on my mind. When 5 p.m. came, I took that as my cue for freedom. I started to drink myself into a state of numbness.”
‘I wanted him to love me. I let him put a needle of meth into my arm. Within 6 months, I lost my son.’: Woman’s journey from ‘successful businesswoman’ to ‘dying drug addict’
“Life as I knew it ended with the prick of a needle. I was a successful businesswoman, living a normal life. I paid my bills, owned a home, and did the right things. But at the age of 34, I made a choice that changed my life forever. My single lapse in judgement separated me from my son, annihilated my morals, and almost killed me.”
‘My son got into trouble. He was missing for days and taken into custody. There were countless sleepless nights. I wasn’t sure how I’d make it until morning. But, I did. I would be okay.’
“I was confronted by a family member with two large garbage bags. It was a relief I’d finally been caught. I’d wonder how I had gotten a fat lip and had blood all over my face, the night before team pictures for my 5-year-old’s soccer team.”
‘I’ll give you a 6-pack if you meet with me and drive around.’ I said, ‘Ok, I’ll be back later tonight.’ My heart was racing thinking about getting into a car with a man I don’t know. But I was desperate.’
“I can still feel the chilly air on my face. All I really wanted to do was go home. ‘Why did I get myself into this?,’ I thought. We stopped at hotels. He tried to force me, but I was able to push him off and say ‘no’ enough times. He was nice enough to stop.”
‘I realized my worst nightmare had come true. I was truly alone, ‘white-knuckling’ it. I did a 180 and completely turned my life around. Or, so I thought.’
“I’m now a successful and contributing member of society, with a picture-perfect life. However, looks can be deceiving – because I had a secret.”
‘The nurse asked my husband, ‘Do you know your wife is an alcoholic?’ He knew. ‘Was the cop there for me?,’ I thought, frozen in fear.’
“I ended up buying a $1,500 puppy at the mall, taking a picture on the mall Santa’s lap by myself and checking into a hotel. Apparently, I walked from the hotel to an outdoor mall where I was arrested in a blackout for ‘drunk walking’ in public. Yes, I was arrested by the mall cops.”
‘I don’t know how we got to that house. I don’t know why I did the things I did when we got there. I just know it was my bottom. I hurt him terribly by cheating on him.’
“When I woke up that morning, I was so incomprehensibly demoralized and mortified at myself and my behavior. I never wanted to feel that way again. I never wanted to hurt like that again. I had to change.”
‘I watched my dad get taken by the police. I was playing in the neighbor’s yard. The officers crept up MY DRIVEWAY. I I hugged onto his legs, begging him not to go.’
“When asked about my parents, I’d lie. My go-to story was, ‘My parents work out of state, that’s why they can’t be here.’ How could I tell these kids the truth? How does a 3rd grader explain the hell they’ve been through?”
‘I was released from the hospital. I went to my mom’s. She’s a chronic relapsing alcoholic. We went to lunch. I ordered what I referred to as ‘my last beer.’ Not even half believing that was true.’
“We started going on Wednesday nights because they served $.25 cent beers on tap. We always requested a specific server, Jeff, because he always took special care of my daughter, Maggie. It slowly turned into flirting. 6 weeks later, I moved in with him.”
