“Life as I knew it ended with the prick of a needle. I was a successful businesswoman, living a normal life. I paid my bills, owned a home, and did the right things. But at the age of 34, I made a choice that changed my life forever. My single lapse in judgement separated me from my son, annihilated my morals, and almost killed me.”
‘I let a man who I wanted to love me, put a needle full of meth into my arm. Within 6 months, I lost my son.’ Woman’s journey from ‘successful businesswoman’ to ‘dying drug addict’
‘Well, he LOOKS normal.’ By lunchtime our kiddo has scratched, punched doors, hurt his sibling, thrown toys and spit on us.’ Mom explains tiring struggle raising her ‘extreme child’
“We have been up all night comforting our child’s night terrors and when they finally wake up for the day, they are wild and feral as if they were shot out of a cannon. We find ourselves crying into bathroom towels, fearing this will be the final straw that causes our boss to fire us.”
‘Today was hard. I have a backpack leash for my son. He is adopted, and was born drug addicted.’: Mom shamed with ‘snide comments, nasty looks’ for having son on leash
“I’m crying and clouded in shame and embarrassment. The looks and side eye I got from no less than 5 ‘Karen’s’ made me grab my items and leave. I’m glad your little Lucy is perfect and never has meltdowns. I don’t know why women feel the need to judge and mom shame.”
‘I was swimsuit shamed by my 5-year-old. At the pool, my daughter asked me when I was going to take my ‘dress’ off.’: Mom embarrassed by daughter for covering ‘thighs, fat, flab’
“I didn’t have it in me to tell her this was my swimsuit.”
‘When he turned a year old, he couldn’t sit up. He didn’t play with toys. He was essentially a newborn. He kept his left hand clenched, and his entire left side was tight.’
“I’ll never forget the words he said. ‘Knowing what his brain looks like, I can’t believe he is talking like this.’ I went to my car and cried. I cried tears of joy and tears of relief. And if I’m being honest, a few tears of fear. By early May, it was confirmed.”
‘I got pregnant at 22 because I wanted someone to show me unconditional love. I remember seeing my baby for the first time and thinking, ‘Ugh.’
“I loved my son, but I would have harmful thoughts. ‘He is so small, what if I just suffocated him?’ I heard stories on the news of women killing their children and I would think, ‘Oh my gosh, is that going to be me?’”
‘My sweet boy, oh how I wish we could bring you home. I cannot fathom why you were too sweet for this world, and meant only for heaven. I yearn for the day to hold you again.’
“Little man, your home is a brick house in Missouri. There is a white dogwood and a rod iron fence in the front yard. You have two sisters who would dote and adore you. I imagine you would have been tormented with bows, jewelry and nail polish! I wish your home was with your family, rather than heaven.”
‘7 years ago, Chase was taken from this Earth too early in a tragic car accident. Charlie was just 9 months old when his Daddy became an angel. I drove away crying. I couldn’t understand it.’
“Momma didn’t share very many details with me, and I didn’t ask her how she’s survived, or is surviving. But I witnessed it instead. I felt a frog in my throat as I looked at the resemblance of him and his Daddy.”
‘I didn’t feel safe in my own home. It took 3 years for me to find the courage to ask for a divorce. I developed stomach ulcers from all the stress. The end was inevitable.’
“I had experienced years of him ‘bending’ the truth, of him telling me I was ‘too much,’ trying to diagnose me with different types of mental illness. Little did I know, there was more to come. I found reserves I never knew I had, but that’s what moms do. We do everything possible to make sure our children don’t get hurt.”
‘He’s just a tomboy. He’s going through a phase.’ At the age of 2, my son began showing a fierce rejection of all things female. It didn’t enter my mind that my child could be trans.’
“She said something along the lines of, ‘Please be careful with waiting to allow your child to transition. That can be dangerous.’ And then she proceeded to tell me why.”
