Stacey Skrysak

‘This baby is not a replacement for the 2 children I lost.’ Mom pregnant with rainbow baby says even though this pregnancy is ‘completely different,’ there is still ‘fear and heartache’

“As the weeks edge closer to delivery day, I find myself conflicted with emotions. The joy and love I feel for this unborn child is genuine. But, child loss has broken me. This baby has already proved to help me heal, but she will never be a replacement for the son and daughter who died in my arms.”

‘I’m not attached to my baby. There, I said it.’

“It’s a harsh reality to admit, and I’m sure I’ll get a few gasps. But it’s the honest truth. And I know I’m not alone. I shrug off compliments from strangers about my pregnancy. This is my coping mechanism.”

‘Are you going to name your children?,’ a nurse asked me. My triplets were 2 days old. They had been known as Baby A, Baby B and Baby C. The truth is, we were scared.’

“My husband and I began to brainstorm. Peyton and Parker were always our favorites. That was the easy part — Peyton and Parker were alive. Several floors below, in the hospital morgue, was our peaceful angel, only known as ‘Baby A.’ How was I supposed to name a child I only looked at for a few hours?”

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