“At 18, I’d miscarried 3 times. Here I was, at risk of losing another baby. My OB said, ‘Your plan was to have a baby and bring a baby home. I know you still want that.’ Each month, I counted his kicks the way kids count raindrops on a car window. I texted my mom, ‘I can’t do this. What if I’m making a mistake?’ It was go time. I closed my eyes as tight as I could, clenched my teeth, and pushed.”
‘I told the nurse, ‘Tie my tubes. I’m done, I don’t ever want to do this again!’ I begged my fiancé to find another woman. ‘I just can’t do it, I’m sorry.’: Woman births rainbow baby after still birth, 3 miscarriages
‘May your children please step out?’ The ultrasound tech seemed irritated. I was congratulated and given a death sentence all in one.’: Grieving mom knits miniature crochet hats for angel babies
“I pegged it as her being annoyed I had my kids with me at the hospital. I later realized she was just trying to keep it together. Smiles quickly faded as doctors, nurses, and specialists crowded in the room. I called my mom in the middle of her workday. ‘What’s going on? Is everyone okay?’ For the first time ever, I answered, ‘No.’ It was soul-crushing. My baby and I were both at risk.”
‘I don’t want to, please don’t make me do this.’ I begged them to knock me out and cut me open.’: Woman gives birth to baby born sleeping, ‘I wondered if I’d ever pull myself out of the darkness’
“As soon as the wand hit my belly, we all knew. ‘I’m so sorry.’ In one breath, she let us know I needed to make my way up to Labor and Delivery. I’d already lost 2.5 liters of blood and it was not slowing down. I turned to my mom and said, ‘I am just so tired, all I want to do is sleep.’ I heard one of the doctors say, ‘We WILL NOT take her uterus’ and then I was out. The next thing I knew, I was waking up. The nurse handed him to me. Perfectly formed with 10 fingers and toes, no heartbeat.”
‘When are you going to try again?’ I was still unable to wipe after going to the bathroom. My baby was being reduced to nothing but a ‘try.’: Couple births second daughter one year after first is stillborn, ‘I already WAS a mother’
“As my belly grew, I began being asked the ‘Is this your first?’ question by anyone, from the cashier at Target to the waitress while out for dinner. My answer was, ‘No, this is my second. My first child died.’ You could tell by the uncomfortable look on their faces that my response was always unexpected, met with pity and also toxic positivity. I already WAS a mother.”
‘We can’t find a heartbeat for Baby B, C, or D.’ I was 19. I still remember my heart breaking. ‘I can’t lose my babies, I can’t.’: Teen mom births miracle micro-preemie after losing 3 of her quadruplets
“We had 3 babies in one sac, and 1 in another. I kept telling myself, ‘It’s going to be okay.’ It just wasn’t enough to sustain them all. My water broke. It was everywhere. I didn’t think it was ever going to stop, and I wasn’t even 24 weeks along yet. I kept crying out, ‘Please wait! It’s too early!’ I was petrified.”
‘Can’t you just cut him out?’ It hit me. I have to give birth to my dead son. He was so beautiful.’: Mom ‘didn’t get a conclusive reason’ for child’s death, ‘the autopsy showed a perfectly healthy, fully formed baby boy’
“He had big hands and feet, chubby little cheeks, a perfect button nose, bright red lips and a little dimple chin. My fiancé burst into tears. ‘I’m absolutely heartbroken.’ We both were. The last words I said to our beautiful boy were, ‘You are absolutely perfect, our darling boy. We are so lucky to be your mommy and daddy. We love you so much.’ We didn’t get a conclusive reason for Ari’s death. The autopsy showed a perfectly healthy baby boy.”
‘Why did you have another baby?’ I try to not bury myself with my son, but to live better because he had lived.’: Mom finds ‘gratitude’ in grief after losing son, ‘goodness is all around, if I just take a moment to see it’
“My new daughter sleeping should be a scene of total peace, and yet it’s terrifying. The ugly, hateful words swirl in my mind. ‘Life can’t really be good again, can it?’ ‘If something happens to her, then everyone will know what an awful mother you are.’ Child loss leads you to a crossroads—a choice between becoming bitter or becoming better.”
‘I placed him in a box, handing him off to a stranger. ‘I love you, Ren,’ I whispered to my son.’: Father tearfully recalls needing to be the ‘superhero’ after losing newborn, ‘I began to break’
“As my wife looked at his little face, she asked me to hand her a wet washcloth. Confused, I then watched as she began to softly dab his little dried up lips. She nurtured and cared for our little boy’s fragile body. I have so much gratitude to this woman. How strong she is. Not only did she say hello to our son for the first time, but soon, she was going to be forced to say goodbye. The thought haunted me.”
‘Has she been active? When did she last move?’ They laid her in my arms. Her little body already changed.’: Couple loses daughter in tragic ‘freak accident’ still birth, ‘I will not get over it’over it’
“She was perfectly formed. She had long, narrow toes like her Mama, full beautiful lips like her Daddy. It took my breath away. I was in love. But our sweet baby wasn’t there. We held and kissed her 1,000 times. ‘We will miss you every moment of our lives,’ we told her. I could almost hear her coo. We said goodbye to her little body. They carried her away.”
‘Can I see my boy for one more goodbye?’ A nurse gave him his first and only haircut. He was truly perfect.’: Couple loses son to stillbirth, anxious about new pregnancy, ‘My first is in heaven, I’ll meet him there someday’
“We rushed into the emergency room. I was bleeding so badly I thought I was going to die right there in the hospital alone. My husband was stuck checking me in for what seemed like forever. The events that happened next took place so fast, but as I look back on it now, the initial care I was given makes me so mad and sad. Once she finally realized the severity of what was happening, she ran for back up. I wanted to follow him right up to heaven. I begged God to take me too.”
