stillbirth

‘How the hell did I end up here?’ It took me months to say, ‘My child died.’ We hung her stocking. I’m finally ready.’: Mom celebrates stillborn during holidays for surviving twin to know ‘her sister’s spirit is with her for her lifetime’

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve answered, ‘How are you?,’ with a forced, fake, ‘Hanging in there!’ just to make the conversation easier. We hung her Christmas stocking on the mantle this year. I am painfully aware that on Christmas morning, that stocking will hang empty as the others burst with gifts. ‘Why me? Why our family?’ But for now, we honor her absence. I am finally ready.”

‘Good thing you didn’t get attached.’ He wasn’t a puppy. Jensen was my child, my sweet baby. I’ll always be attached.’: Mother recalls rude comments she’s heard since her son was stillborn, ‘Do not compare anything to losing a child’

“‘Isn’t it time for you to be moving on?’ No. I will never move on. My child died, it’s not like I lost an earring. You don’t just pick up and move on to the next thing. ‘God wanted him more.’ This did not comfort me. My doctor said this. He didn’t call Jensen a him, he actually said, ‘God wanted it more.’ My son is not an it.”

‘You’re only 19 weeks, it’s too early.’ I was scared to hold him. But THAT was love at first sight.’: Woman’s baby born still after years of infertility, ‘he has changed my life, even when he is not here’

“’How far along are you? You aren’t due til November!’ My mom thought I was playing a trick on her, but she could see I’d been crying. My worst fear had come true. I knew I’d hate myself if I never took any photos, so I took an abundance. I needed to have that for my son. The worst part? Knowing it was the first and last time I’d ever hold him again.”

‘Why weren’t we told this sooner? Obviously they suspected brain bleeds. Why didn’t we know?’: Newborn suffers brain bleeds in-utero, defies all odds to survive, ‘he’s leaving a trail of middle fingers behind him for the naysayers’

“My husband arrived just seconds before the doctor said, ‘He is out!’ I was certain he had died. I couldn’t stop shaking while they stitched me up. But he was perfect, with a surprising amount of thick, dark hair. ‘There’s a high likelihood he’ll never walk or talk.’ They asked if we wanted to stop life-saving measures. We stood our ground. He’d be our ‘wayfinder.’ We trusted he’d tell us in his own way if things became too much, and it was time to stop fighting.”

‘I placed him in a box, handing him off to a stranger. ‘I love you, Ren,’ I whispered to my son.’: Father tearfully recalls needing to be the ‘superhero’ after losing newborn, ‘I began to break’

“As my wife looked at his little face, she asked me to hand her a wet washcloth. Confused, I then watched as she began to softly dab his little dried up lips. She nurtured and cared for our little boy’s fragile body. I have so much gratitude to this woman. How strong she is. Not only did she say hello to our son for the first time, but soon, she was going to be forced to say goodbye. The thought haunted me.”

‘Am I really going to be a dad?’ He smiled. ‘You aren’t mad?’ We were too young to have kids.’: Mom suffers PTSD after son is stillborn, ‘they couldn’t find anything wrong’

“He sat on the couch next to me. HE STARTED CRYING! As soon as I stepped on the linoleum, I felt a HUGE gush! A puddle of bright, red blood. His face turned white, his eyes were huge. ‘Has he moved at all today? Could you feel him?!’ I felt my heart shatter. I had one job. All I had to do was keep my baby safe. This can’t be real, it’s a nightmare. ‘Taylor…I’m so sorry.’ We studied him so we wouldn’t forget anything. He was perfect. It actually surprised me.”

‘Is she your only one?’ Awkward silence. ‘Nope. She has an older brother. He died.’: Mother of stillborn son’s candid response to strangers’ prying questions, ‘He should be here’

“My daughter and I went to the mall. She was waving at everyone. It prompted an older couple to strike up a conversation. ‘She’s so cute and friendly,’ they told me. ‘How old is she? She’s big for her age!’ Then the inevitable question was asked. I just thought, ‘How do I get myself out of this conversation?’ I wonder what would happen if I just said, ‘My son died,’ then walked away.”

‘I was scared she’d die. They said it’s ‘new mom jitters.’ I didn’t want to be the ‘depressed, baby-less mom’: Mother experiences postpartum depression, PTSD after first son born still, ‘I was hiding it well’

“I was losing clumps of hair. I assumed it was stress because we just moved for my husband’s job. My doctor asked about my children. She was the first doctor who actually had a conversation with me. Then she dropped a bomb. ‘I’m prescribing you an anti depressant.’ I left the appointment bawling. ‘Who does she think she is!? She didn’t know everything I’ve been through!'”

‘I flat out asked, ‘Would I be able to take my own photos during my C-section?’ She looked puzzled.’: Woman photographs her own C-section after losing baby in same OR last year, ‘That is empowering as hell’

“Mike shouted, ‘It’s a boy!’ I was clicking away, fighting back tears, trying to see my new babe, focus my camera. This was a surreal experience. Just 371 days before, in the exact same OR, our little Clark was also pulled out at this exact same spot. But there was no crying, no excited cheers, no shouts of ‘it’s a boy!’ He was born still. We knew our Clark sent this little one from heaven to be with us. Teddy’s birth was not only empowering, it was incredibly healing, too.”

For our best love stories, subscribe to our free email newsletter: