“Immediately I call my husband. I asked him to meet me at the hospital (still no tears and I don’t understand). The lady informs me my baby boy died 3 days ago.”
‘Did I really experience that or was it a dream? The pastor asks, ‘Have you had any problems with your pregnancy?’ I reply ‘NO.’’
‘You promise you’ll hang a wind chime for my son?’ I felt each syllable. His shaky jaw dropped against my shoulder.’: Nurse hangs wind chimes to honor each ‘angel baby’ she delivers
“For a year, it’s been my greatest honor to litter chimes among tree leaves where hummingbirds fly. You and your husband know this. Shared from one of the private corridors of my heart. Spilled out of my trembling mouth during one of our many discussions of how Nurses behave at home. How we process bad outcomes. How we offload shifts like the very one I was in the middle of. Dead babies are not supposed to happen to us, but here you are. A nurse. One of us. Your son was my 21st wind chime.”
‘Mama, it’s beautiful!’ I felt sick to my stomach. There’s nothing normal about cemetery shopping for your baby.’: Mom tragically recounts losing daughter during pregnancy
“It was obvious her condition was worsening. I found myself awake, begging God to let me sleep. The next day I had yet another doctor’s appointment. This time I met my sister in the parking lot of the hospital, and we walked nervously in together. Both of us were fighting back tears. The nurse searched to find her heartbeat. My eyes met my sister’s when we thought we heard it, but we didn’t.”
‘I was pregnant with triplets, until I started to bleed. Things went from 0 to 60 in the matter of an hour.’: Mom loses all 3 triplets, gives birth to ‘rainbow baby’ and adopts ‘sweet, perfect’ boy
“The nurses assured me it must’ve been an accident since I had no pain. I listened and didn’t think anything of it. Huge mistake. Not 24 even hours later, I was delirious with a fever and untreated ruptured sac. Once again, alone at the hospital, I had to deliver my babies and say goodbye. I lost not one, but all three of my triplets.”
‘I was told I have a heart-shaped uterus, but I’m not feeling the love.’
“I did what most of us do, but know we shouldn’t. I Googled ‘heart-shaped uterus’ and its risk factors. What I found on the internet gave me a panic attack. Why didn’t I know about this during my first pregnancy? If we had known, could we have saved him?”
‘When you (and your nursery) are left empty, messy and unfinished’: Mom’s anguish after baby’s stillbirth
“Twenty-seven days after Cayden’s death I opened that door. But I wasn’t ready for it. I went in to iron my skirt on the ironing board but everything froze, including me.”
‘She was lifeless, but so perfect’: Mom’s heartache after stillbirth helps her celebrate rainbow baby, realize ‘happiness can be ripped away’
“It’s so bittersweet. Every time we use rainbows in photos or in life, it’s honoring Victoria. Without her, I wouldn’t have my rainbow.”
‘There is no heartbeat’: Mom turns devastating stillbirth at full term into opportunity to make a difference for ‘other parents who will walk this road’
“Over and over I sobbed into Tony’s neck, ‘I’m so sorry.’ I carried her. I should have kept her safe. What did I do wrong? Did I sleep on my back? Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten that lunchmeat. Why didn’t I make my doctor induce that morning?”
‘His skin is as fragile as the wings of a butterfly’: Mom’s heartbreaking account of son’s rare skin condition
“He gives us a reason to love and believe in hope.”
