stillborn

‘The doctor came in, and instantly, the room felt off. ‘I’m surprised your baby made it this far.’ I felt like I blacked out.’: After multiple miscarriages, mom gives birth to baby with Trisomy 13, ‘To us, he was perfect’

“We saw a heartbeat. This was actually happening. But I couldn’t shake the fear. I kept saying to people, ‘IF we bring this baby home.’ That’s when the words came: ‘There are multiple things wrong with your baby.’ We got to the parking lot, and I just screamed.”

‘If something happens, I’ll never be the same. I can’t lose another baby.’ He coughed, and blood came out of his mouth. I started to scream.’: Woman loses rainbow baby to Alloimmune Liver Disease, ‘He made me a better mother’

“I finally got to hold him skin to skin. It took everything in me not to cry the entire time. He was perfect. He was everything. When I woke up, people were running everywhere; our doctor was giving orders. ‘His blood pressure is dropping.’ I wasn’t going to lose him, I couldn’t.”

‘I can’t find a heartbeat.’ I fell from the gurney, slamming my head. She cradled me like the baby I knew I would never get to keep.’: Woman gives birth to son born sleeping, ‘It is excruciating’

“She frantically scanned, her voice trembling, ‘I’m sorry.’ I covered my face and just sobbed. I kept screaming to get her to try again. I can’t even begin to describe what it is like to know you are going to give birth to a dead baby. I tickled his button nose that matched mine. I was in complete awe.”

‘I don’t want to, please don’t make me do this.’ I begged them to knock me out and cut me open.’: Woman gives birth to baby born sleeping, ‘I wondered if I’d ever pull myself out of the darkness’

“As soon as the wand hit my belly, we all knew. ‘I’m so sorry.’ In one breath, she let us know I needed to make my way up to Labor and Delivery. I’d already lost 2.5 liters of blood and it was not slowing down. I turned to my mom and said, ‘I am just so tired, all I want to do is sleep.’ I heard one of the doctors say, ‘We WILL NOT take her uterus’ and then I was out. The next thing I knew, I was waking up. The nurse handed him to me. Perfectly formed with 10 fingers and toes, no heartbeat.”

‘When are you going to try again?’ I was still unable to wipe after going to the bathroom. My baby was being reduced to nothing but a ‘try.’: Couple births second daughter one year after first is stillborn, ‘I already WAS a mother’

“As my belly grew, I began being asked the ‘Is this your first?’ question by anyone, from the cashier at Target to the waitress while out for dinner. My answer was, ‘No, this is my second. My first child died.’ You could tell by the uncomfortable look on their faces that my response was always unexpected, met with pity and also toxic positivity. I already WAS a mother.”

‘Can’t you just cut him out?’ It hit me. I have to give birth to my dead son. He was so beautiful.’: Mom ‘didn’t get a conclusive reason’ for child’s death, ‘the autopsy showed a perfectly healthy, fully formed baby boy’

“He had big hands and feet, chubby little cheeks, a perfect button nose, bright red lips and a little dimple chin. My fiancé burst into tears. ‘I’m absolutely heartbroken.’ We both were. The last words I said to our beautiful boy were, ‘You are absolutely perfect, our darling boy. We are so lucky to be your mommy and daddy. We love you so much.’ We didn’t get a conclusive reason for Ari’s death. The autopsy showed a perfectly healthy baby boy.”

‘I know you can get through this.’ This nurse was the age of my mother. She embraced me in a warm hug, and peace came over me.’: Mom recalls heartbreak as first son is born still, ‘he would’ve been an amazing human’

“The doctor was holding a box of tissues. I let out the most piercing wail. I was inconsolable. I asked my husband, ‘Can we pray?’ It was the only time I saw him break down. We both buckled at the knees. I was lead back to a corner room at the end of the hallway. A nurse was there. ‘I am sorry for your loss.’ My son had an aura around him, an angelic light radiating behind him.”

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