“There were no I love you’s. I remember her spending a lot of time in bed, flying off the handle easily, expecting a lot out of everyone while she gave the minimum. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Was she a drug addict? Or was she just a bad person? I vow to give my children everything my mom could not give me.”
‘I made the decision to cut my mom out of my life. Now that I’m a mom, I wish she was there to guide me. I wish my children knew her. But I know she won’t change.’ Mom explains heartbreaking decision to protect her kids
‘I received a note from my brother. ‘Have you ever wanted to see a naked man?’ I was disgusted and appalled. ‘No! Why would you ask that?!’ He my best friend. Until he shattered that trust.’
“From the outside, I grew up in a great family. But there were dark secrets. My world fell apart at 13. I rustled awake, and my brother ran out of my room. Minutes later, he poked his head in. ‘Are you okay?’ I remember sitting at supper with him feeling so disgusted.”
‘How far apart are your boys?’ When I tell them their age, they say, ‘Oh, you must be busy!’ But sometimes I wish they’d ask me how my body is holding up.’
“About the ball the size of a grapefruit I found in my stomach. The back-to-back pregnancies, two C-sections, the countless hours nursing, and the baby weight that won’t come off. I honestly feel like a deflated balloon most of the time.”
‘On my wedding day, I felt like I was going to throw up. I wanted to run the opposite direction. I knew deep down I was making a mistake. I should’ve listened to my gut.’
“I knew this was someone I couldn’t spend my life with. I kept thinking about all the people who came, who bought us gifts, all the money spent on the wedding. I couldn’t back out now. No one knew what was going on in my relationship. I tried to smile big and be excited. I drank a lot that day. I had to keep it private.”
‘Come feel this,’ the doctor said. I put my hand on her belly. My heart sank.’ Mom recalls daughter’s rare cancer diagnosis after thinking it was just an ‘umbilical cord hernia’
“I snapped the traditional well-check picture of my daughter sitting on the exam table, bragging about our healthy girl. We were about to walk out with a good bill of health when the doctor asked me if I had any concerns. That’s when I remembered her large tummy. He laid her down on the exam table, and his face quickly changed to reflect my concern.”
‘At 19, I got pregnant and relapsed. My son wasn’t enough to stop me. I continued to use behind his back. I went back to hiding it, and was caught by my son’s father.’
“My friend introduced me to a better way to get high: injecting. He left when I got pregnant. I looked at myself in the mirror. ‘What are you doing? You are worth so much more.’ I wanted my kids to have love, but first, I had to find it myself.”
‘In tears, my husband handed me a small paper. ‘Please don’t take my baby!’ My stomach twisted into a giant knot. Our world totally flipped upside down.’
“I had so many questions, but all I wanted to do was hold her and sob. ‘She’s just 16 and in this much pain?’ I looked at my sweet, beautiful girl and could not believe it. After blood work and an x-ray, we learned the fateful news.”
‘You’re an angel,’ he said to me after a night of being told I was worthless. The sun started to shine through the window, it reeked of booze and I had yet to sleep. I wanted to be that ‘angel.’
“My grandma passed away, and everything came crumbling down around me. I was alone. I needed him more than anything now. I needed his support, I needed him to hold me and listen to the speech I had prepared for her funeral. Instead, he did the exact opposite. ‘I need space,’ he said. SPACE?!”
‘Momma, when are you gonna get better? I miss how you used to be.’ I could no longer lift her up. I didn’t have the guts to tell her there’s no cure.’
“I was walking down the sidewalk when I suddenly felt like my body was struck by lightning. My legs grew heavier with each step. All I could think was, ‘Something is very wrong.’ Nothing like this had ever happened before. The scariest part is fearing every day that I’ve passed it onto my daughter.”
‘At 4 a.m. we got THE call. ‘YOU’RE HAVING A BABY! Mom’s water broke! How fast can you get here?’ With tears streaming down her face, she handed him to me and said, ‘Meet your son.’
“We were 7 hours away! We woke up the friends we were staying with, told them what was happening, brushed our teeth, and hit the road! We started calling family from the car. ‘Wake up, we’re having a baby!’”
