“14 years later, devastation struck once again. I lost my 19-year-old son in a tragic, earth-shattering suicide. The only comfort I have, is that my father was there to welcome him home. He was not easily influenced by peer pressure. Or, so we thought.”
‘The phone rang at 5 a.m. ‘You need to come to the hospital. Your father is not doing well.’ My father? In the hospital? No way. He was a healthy, happy man. How could he be that sick?’
‘I was still being bullied. I developed a crush on a cute boy. He told me, ‘Here, take this. It will make you feel so much better. You won’t have any pain.’ I immediately felt like I was on cloud nine.’
“‘Momma, can I come back home?’ I remember thinking, ‘You can’t save me, it’s too late, I am slipping away quickly.’ She kissed my forehead. ‘You are stronger than you know.’ I never heard from my ex again.”
‘I’d be driving to work and see the ‘perfect’ tree to ram my car into. I stared at the railing upstairs, picking out the spot to hang from. I knew this was not normal, but it was my new normal.’
“It was a dreary day. I was standing by the window with tears streaming down my face. The kids were whining in the background. The house was a complete disaster. I was trembling and my knuckles were white from gripping the chair. My marriage was crumbling before my eyes.”
‘The guy who brought me to the party passed out. I should have left him, but I’m a loyal person. I fell asleep and was awoken by a man’s body on top of mine. I couldn’t move and yelled for help.’
“I remember telling my mom, ‘I would die if something happened to you.’ She always reassured me, ‘I’m not going anywhere Erica.’ I whole-heartedly believed she would live forever. Then she started complaining of severe headaches. Selfishly, I thought, ‘Well if God took my Grannie, he can’t take my mom too.'”
‘I remember thinking, ‘What the hell is conversion therapy?’ She introduced me to ‘Pastor Jake.’ He was going to ‘take good care of me.’ I immediately wanted to leave.’: Bisexual man becomes advocate against bullying, harassment, ‘I fought to get to where I am today’
“He told me how he is an ‘ex-gay.’ After he placed the ‘electrodes’ on my body, he turned on the projector. He showed me ‘homoerotica’ images, and if I became ‘excited,’ it would send a shock throughout my entire body. He did it repeatedly until I passed out. He told me he ‘didn’t need permission from parents.'”
‘We were young. He didn’t want to continue the pregnancy. Later that day, my baby’s father died of suicide.’: Mother overcomes ex’s suicide to care for blind daughter
“I knew I had to see this pregnancy through. The father was furious with me. I had always hoped he would eventually come around. I had not only lost my friend forever, but my baby had lost her father. I didn’t have much time to grieve.”
‘Get here now! It’s bad, it’s real bad.’ I jumped out of bed and yelled, ‘We have to go now! Something has happened.’ I knelt down beside him. ‘I am so sorry son, I love you so much Joshua.’
“My fiancé hardly had the car in park. I jumped out and ran down the driveway toward my son. Before I could get to Josh, two police officers held me back. I cried out, ‘My baby, my baby, I want my baby!’ At that moment, I knew my worst nightmare had come true. My precious son was gone in a blink of an eye.”
‘Nurses told me to, ‘Not be so dramatic.’ I tried to get help from teachers, police officers, neighbors. Nobody listened.’: Woman survives abuse, finally receives proper mental illness treatment at 36
“By 27 years old we had 2 beautiful boys and a baby girl. We were married, living well and happy. I was baking cupcakes and going on field trips – I was exactly who I thought I should be. Then it happened.”
‘I woke up expecting it to be my last day on earth. I bought a bottle of pills and razors. Then I bought a rope. I had 3 different plans and figured one of them had to work.’
“I walked for miles to find an area with a good tree, and no people. I finally found a place. I tied the rope around the tree, and took what I thought would be my last breath. I stepped off the branch. Then, someone called. My phone rang and rang. I finally answered.”
‘Acid from the airbag burned my eyes. My first thought was, ‘Call Mom.’ I climbed out of my window, dripping in blood. ‘Mom, I crashed the car. I see cops coming. I love you.’: Man overcomes addiction, ‘I own my truth today’
“I walked to my church, 5 miles away in the freezing rain, knowing I may have just seen my father and mother for the last time. I sat in the fourth row. I stared down at the ground, tears still running down my face. I wanted to be able to apologize for what I was about to do.”
