suicide prevention

‘I regret this so much. I’ll never see my daughter again.’ My lips turned gray, my skin white. I faded out of consciousness.’: Woman urges ‘it will get better’ after survived suicide attempt, ‘Storms don’t last forever’

“I was always told, ‘You will never be anything.’ My family didn’t believe I was struggling. I was very good at hiding it. When it did show, they called it a ‘phase.’ I convinced myself no one would notice if I was dead. I had made my decision. Nobody could change my mind. In my bedroom, I wrote my goodbyes and I did it. I started going in and out of consciousness. I could see bright colors. My vision went blurry.”

‘He said, ‘I can’t do this,’ and left. I got a late-night call from the pastor. ‘He’s gone.’ As soon as he said it, I knew. He lost his battle with PTSD.’: Woman loses Army veteran boyfriend to suicide, ‘I was terrified to be a single mother. It’s not supposed to be this way.’

“As a combat veteran, he faced mental illness. We agreed to tackle everything as a team. I was pregnant again, but this time everything shifted. He left. I was so confused and hurt. ‘Where did he go? Is he okay?’ I found out he was living two completely separate lives, lying about his marital status. My entire world turned upside down. But I still couldn’t find him. I searched. I drove around aimlessly. ‘He is gone.’ As soon as he said it, I knew. My heart started pounding. ‘Oh my gosh,’ I said over and over again. The man I love took his life.”

‘I promised I’d never divorce him. I was an Evangelical Christian woman. I wasn’t about to give that up because my disturbed husband couldn’t stop screaming at me.’: Woman leaves her abusive pastor husband after 10 years, ‘I never looked back’

“I hid big, dark, angry, broken feelings from the world. If I acknowledged their legitimacy, that meant I had to acknowledge that my husband–the megachurch pastor–was my abuser. And I was his victim. No, thanks! I’d much prefer to pretend everything is fine and our family is blessed.”

‘Christmas came just 3 months after my ex’s death. That’s when they showed up. My in-laws. They rallied together to help our broken family make new, magical memories.’: In-laws rally to provide kids a Christmas after woman’s ex-husband’s suicide

“It was an ‘all hands-on deck’ type of tragedy. My kids were so young. His parents flew us to Florida. My only job was to get on the plane with the kids. There was absolutely no obligation to love on the ‘ex-wife.’ They could have easily blamed me for their son’s downward spiral into suicide. They could have chosen to hate, curse, and isolate me from their family. But they didn’t.”

‘She laid in a pretty blue dress with a scarf around her neck to cover her scars. She was cold and stiff. It didn’t look like her, but I knew it was.’: Woman loses 19-year-old sister to suicide at airport on way to rehab, ‘She was so close. She was on the plane’

“He was sobbing. ‘Abigail…’ My heart dropped. ‘Dad, what the heck is going on?’ He responded, ‘I think your sister was arrested. She called and said the cops were after her. Then the call dropped. I haven’t heard from her since.’ She was last seen at the Denver International Airport. My dad escorted her to security where she was catching a plane to rehab. The reality of what happened hurts too much to face. I find myself getting so angry at her. She was so close. She was on the plane.”

‘I was embarrassed and ashamed. I spent 15 years pretending I was a happy, carefree extrovert without a problem in the world.’: Woman faces her trauma, finds strength empowering others

“This is when I discovered my calling was to be a coach for women who have experienced trauma. Women who don’t believe in themselves and don’t think they are deserving of the happiness they desperately desire. I want people to know they aren’t alone, they can put themselves back together after being broken, and their biggest pain can actually be their biggest strength. Everyone is deserving of the life they dream for themselves.”

‘What if I never love my child? I hate being a mom.’ The day she was born, I became a different person.’: New mother suffers severe postpartum depression, ‘I was on the brink of suicide’

“The moment after her birth I had so longed for – the intense emotion I was supposed to have, never happened. The feeling I was supposed to get when she first cried, never happened. The love I was ‘supposed’ to have seeing Dan hold our daughter, never happened. The day she was born, I became a different person. I started hearing and seeing things. These images and voices would pop into my head.”

‘I couldn’t see him that way. ‘This is not real, this cannot be real.’ I didn’t go in, my beautiful boy was gone.’: Mom makes ‘brave’ decisions in her grief after losing son to suicide, ‘I choose not to torture myself’

“I chose not to wear black. It was the last occasion I would get to dress up for him. I wouldn’t attend his wedding, so I chose an outfit that would honor him and be celebratory. He was gone. All that was left of him was the shattered remains of a beautiful, perfect body he no longer wanted to be in. He chose his angelversary. He chose to leave us all behind and graduate to Heaven.”

‘I can’t… goodbye… I love you,’ he slurred. I never heard the gunshot, just his screams. He wanted me to hear everything.’: Widow resorts to post-loss drinking, sex binges to cope with husband’s suicide, realizes he ‘wasn’t the monster mental illness made him out to be’

“‘I don’t love you. I never did. These past 7 years I’ve just been playing house with you and the kids.’ My husband scoffed these words to me after I found a video email from his married girlfriend confirming my worst nightmare. I was trembling uncontrollably. Later I sat on an old road listening to the helicopter above us trying to locate John while we passed my cell phone back and forth begging him to put down the gun. Just before 9 p.m., John asked for the phone to be handed back to me.”

 Share  Tweet