suicide

‘I couldn’t see him that way. ‘This is not real, this cannot be real.’ I didn’t go in, my beautiful boy was gone.’: Mom makes ‘brave’ decisions in her grief after losing son to suicide, ‘I choose not to torture myself’

“I chose not to wear black. It was the last occasion I would get to dress up for him. I wouldn’t attend his wedding, so I chose an outfit that would honor him and be celebratory. He was gone. All that was left of him was the shattered remains of a beautiful, perfect body he no longer wanted to be in. He chose his angelversary. He chose to leave us all behind and graduate to Heaven.”

‘I can’t… goodbye… I love you,’ he slurred. I never heard the gunshot, just his screams. He wanted me to hear everything.’: Widow resorts to post-loss drinking, sex binges to cope with husband’s suicide, realizes he ‘wasn’t the monster mental illness made him out to be’

“‘I don’t love you. I never did. These past 7 years I’ve just been playing house with you and the kids.’ My husband scoffed these words to me after I found a video email from his married girlfriend confirming my worst nightmare. I was trembling uncontrollably. Later I sat on an old road listening to the helicopter above us trying to locate John while we passed my cell phone back and forth begging him to put down the gun. Just before 9 p.m., John asked for the phone to be handed back to me.”

‘Call my mom,’ he’d written on his shirt. He just hung himself off a bridge. I did not believe it.’: Mother urges ‘you are not a burden’ after losing ‘beautiful, smiling-faced’ son to suicide

“We woke up to find him gone. We’d just gotten into an argument because he was caught sneaking out. We couldn’t call him because he had his phone taken away. Panic set in. Was he running away? Or just hiding out for a bit? We turned the corner to police cars, fire trucks, and road closures. ‘Are you Jennifer Chappell?,’ the police officer asked me. ‘Yes.’ I was too late.”

‘Miya killed herself.’ The wind is knocked out of me. I call her husband. ‘What do you want to know?’ He utters coldly.’: Woman harbors ‘immense guilt’ for not ‘saving’ sister from suicide, ‘All Miya ever wanted was someone to love her back’

“We were riddled with confusion, not allowed in her home, not allowed to pack her belongings, not allowed to have her phone or computer. Where did she do it, when did she do it, who was there. ‘Chicago, something about Chicago. There was another woman.’ My sister’s husband was cheating on her with someone he met online from the Windy City, who in two days, to our shocking surprise, would introduce herself to us at her memorial service as an acquaintance.”

‘Please don’t leave me. You can have us both.’ I panicked. I must’ve dropped the ball somewhere.’: Woman recalls pain of infidelity, finds happiness with new husband, ‘I didn’t think people like him existed’

“There it was in my phone bill. The proof that something was wrong. I found text messages to another number all hours of the night. I called to pay my power bill and was asked ‘which address’ I wanted to apply the payment to. Then I knew. He had two places he was living. Two separate lives. ‘Honey, he doesn’t deserve your love.’ I was sure I’d never marry again, until our blind date.”

‘Why bother? Nothing’s left.’ I was a washed-up, homeless junkie injecting meth into my arm.’: Veteran launches organization to end veteran suicide after battling addiction, ‘your life is worth living’

“When that picture on the left was taken, I was in the height of my meth addiction. My only concern was my next high. It’s how I dealt with the war and the loss of my father. I burned every bridge and friendship I’d ever made. I didn’t think there was anything left of me worth saving, so why bother? I was wrong, so wrong.”

‘Your son cut class today.’ I got the phone call no parent expects. ‘Excuse me?!?!’ I was LIVID.’: Mom comforts teen son battling depression, ‘we should treat mental illness the same as physical ailments’

“My first thought was, ‘They have the wrong boy.’ My son loves school! Frustrated, I yelled, grounded him. Then, the next morning, I heard it. Sobs coming from the shower. ‘Mom, I’m not feeling okay.’ He told me he felt extremely depressed. That it was so bad he contemplated killing himself and had skipped class to find a quiet space to cry alone and breathe. Instantly, I felt a pang in my heart.”

‘She’d been faking it for 10 years. I was kicked out. ‘Dustin, I’m gay. Say goodbye to our dogs.’: Man finally ‘healed’ after wife comes out as gay, ‘I wish her all the happiness in the world’

“I’d done everything I was supposed to do. I found a woman I loved. We had a house, dogs, great jobs. We were the rock solid couple to be envied. I cried for the first time in 10 years. ‘If you don’t leave, I’m calling the police.’ Something inside me cracked and fell away. I couldn’t speak. I was left to pick up the pieces of my white-picket life. Worst of all, I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone.”

‘Nicole, I had NO IDEA.’ I almost took my own life. I hid it so well. No one knew.’: Woman reminds us to ‘always be kind’ after battling suicide, ‘you never know the battles someone is facing’

“If it weren’t for my sister calling me right before, I wouldn’t be here. She had no idea I’d just written a letter saying ‘goodbye.’ No one knew I was suffering. No one asked if I was okay. I shared only the good parts of my life, never the struggles. My family thought my life was beautiful and amazing.”

‘Are you KIDDING? Don’t be a prude. Just take the drink!’ I shook my head no. I was weak. I took it.’: Woman loses father to alcohol poisoning, ‘it is my right not to drink, please respect it’

“At 11, they draped a pale, unfamiliar version of my dad in white. ‘Are you alone?’ I watched a flurry of red and blue police lights dance across my ceiling. Alcohol poisoning. He never returned. You knew my past. Yet, you judged me when I turned down your drink. Did you know, I saw my father in my nightmares that night? Did you know, I was smiling, but dying on the inside? My trauma is more important than your right to a fun time.”

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