suicide

‘I rose as normal and glanced at the clock. ‘Let me wake her and change her diaper.’ I drop to my knees. 911 operator: ‘Whats your emergency?’ I scream, ‘My baby’s not breathing!’

“I desperately breathe air into my child. Medics rush in. Suddenly, I hear voices, machines. I’m listening for that cry I know. Everything pauses. They wrap her in a soft white blanket, slowly walking towards me as if presenting a gift. I push back, pleading with tears. I beg the doctors to try just a little longer.”

‘There I was, crying over my newborn daughter, looking at my husband’s arm around another woman. I begged him to talk to me in person. He never called, never texted. My world flipped.’

“I had done everything right. The last 4 years were wiped away without reason. My mind kept replaying every situation over and over again. Not only was I going to school, working, and dealing with my parents’ divorce, but I was now about to be a single mom. I prayed for a sign I’d be okay.”

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