surrogacy

‘This little girl needed parents who’d love her no, matter what. Our opportunity was staring us in the face.’: Gay dads adopt ‘tiny, 5-pound, perfect’ baby girl after initial doubts of being ‘enough’ for her

“I think most people envision ‘the call’ as an instantaneously joyous occasion, the fulfillment of a dream. For us, it was a little more nuanced. A birthmother due in 2 weeks had chosen us, but there were potential health risks with the baby and the pregnancy. We didn’t expect a call this early. But less than 2 weeks later, we took her home at 24-hours old.”

‘An overwhelming feeling came over me. I put my car in park and ran upstairs. After 20 seconds, a faint line appeared. Suddenly, I am bawling. I told myself to calm down.’

“The timer went off. I patted my belly. ‘You did it! Well done!’ It was time to take the first step in doing what I’d been thinking about for quite some time. When the nurse walked in with those papers, I went straight to the bathroom and sobbed. I walked toward the dreaded exit. I had to say goodbye.”

‘I asked, ‘Are you okay?’ We were greeted with one line. ‘Twins. Congrats.’ We immediately hopped on a plane. We were told to spike their bottles with caffeine. There were roadblocks.’

“We found a surrogate. The doctor started to gush about how lovely she was! ‘You have to woo her and make sure she picks you guys!’ Communication was sparse. We were constantly checking emails. I’ll never forget my husband kneeling as he opened one eagerly awaited message. He stared at the computer screen, speechless.”

‘She’s been promising her baby to 4 other families.’ We’d been scammed by our birth mother. Tears streaming, I hoped it was a bad dream. All I wanted was to be a mother.’

“At that same ultrasound, while holding the hand of another adoptive mother, she was texting me details of the visit and sex of the baby. She’d ‘panic’ and ask for more money so she wouldn’t change her mind and take him away from us. She knew all about me and my infertility. She knew exactly what she was doing.”

‘Babe, know what I’m thinking?’ I was like, ‘Pizza or Chinese?’ He said, ‘We should have another kid!’ Our surrogate got pregnant with twins! Tim was calm, I was nervous.’

“Tim went on a business trip. I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t heard from him. Then I got the voicemail. ‘Hello, this is the police, please give us a call.’ A detective answered. ‘Who is Timothy to you?’ ‘He’s my husband,’ I said. ‘What’s going on?’ ‘I’m sorry to tell you this, but Tim passed away in his hotel room.'”

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