surviving abuse

‘Please let a car hit me so I don’t have to face my parents.’ My fears SHOULD HAVE been unfounded. But they weren’t.’: Woman grows up conditioned to ‘people please’ after parent’s abuse, finally beats anxiety to ‘fearlessly be ME’

“One ex-boyfriend told me, ‘I HATE when women tell me no.’ No wonder he liked me, I was his perfect victim! I was afraid to wear my hair curly, so I straightened it every day. I wore colored contacts to look more like the favored girls with blonde hair and blue eyes. I said yes to my professor’s inappropriate advances which led me to being alone in his office where he tried to sexually harass me. I was fearful he’d give me a bad grade if I wasn’t nice to him.”

‘Lisa, marry me.’ ‘Ask me when you’re sober,’ I’d say. With enough alcohol, he’d tell me he was God’: Woman spends years with alcoholic, realizes ‘I didn’t have to stay with him to prove I was tough enough’

“Will took me to a graduation party for his ex-girlfriend. Turns out she was younger than I was. He’d started seeing her when she was underage, causing a scandal. We both had a lot to drink. By the time we got back to my apartment and crawled into bed, fueled by seeing him interact with his ex, I was determined to consummate what we had going on. I thought it would help me keep him. I did. We did. I convinced him. I woke in the morning to find he was gone. There was no note. Nothing.”

‘He got cold feet on our wedding day. ‘You aren’t worthy of me.’ He hit the baby across the cheek.’ She was taught, ‘Love hurts’: Woman takes ‘leap of faith’ and escapes domestic violence, re-marries ‘amazing man, father’

“He said, ‘I made you a mother and nobody else would ever marry you.’ He spit on my face. I worried about how others saw divorce. I looked at my life and my innocent girls who didn’t deserve the hand I dealt them, and suddenly I saw the reality of our situation. I chose to JUMP! My daughters were better off with a divorced, living mother, than a dead, married one.”

‘How selfish! Men looking at you in your leotards?’ On the outside we had it all. I was trapped.’: Woman finally escapes abusive relationship to pursue dancing dreams, ‘No one should fear for their lives, especially not in their own home’

“‘I knew you wouldn’t be able to control yourself. You’ve proved you can’t change to be a nice girl for me.’ Hours later, I found myself bleeding and alone, thrown from the car. Thankfully, a stranger happened upon me. She called the police. The man I had fallen for was gone. Finally, I broke. I was emerging from the nightmare.”

‘He said, ‘Hey, I have herpes. Did you give it to me?’ Just like that. I played my part of ‘perfect girlfriend.’: Woman urges others to ‘listen to that voice inside’ after finally leaving abusive relationship

“The day of the funeral came. I smiled when people asked, ‘When are you guys going to get married?’ I cringed at the thought. I checked his phone. Him: ‘My mom left me a lot of money.’ Her: ‘So?’ Him: ‘Now we can be together.’ Her: ‘What about HER (me), you’re lying.’ Him: ‘Let’s run away together.’ I woke him up and asked him, ‘What the hell is this?'”

‘Does that hurt?’ He smelled of liquor. I grabbed my baby girl and got in his face. All of the red flags were there, but I ignored them. I thought my love could make him a better man.’

“He’d deliberately go out and ‘ghost’ me. I felt trapped in a thick fog of confusion, heartbreak, and betrayal. My children and I grew to appreciate when he left to work. We could be ourselves and not have to walk on eggshells. Every time he’d swindle his way back in, I felt like I betrayed myself.”

‘You can’t do this. You’re 27.’ My husband was untraceable. I couldn’t divorce a man I couldn’t find.’: Woman marries divorce lawyer who comforted her in aftermath of domestic abuse

“I wasn’t like him. He was a prestigious lawyer, while I was a beaten, broken, and utterly lost human being. I’d lost all of my future at the altar 8 years earlier. I didn’t say anything as I tried to choke back the tears. Eventually he said, ‘let me help you,’ breaking the silence, and branding the words onto my heart.”

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