“‘I lent a friend money. It’s gone. We’re not getting it back,’ he said. I was frozen. ‘How much money?’ My heart was racing. ‘Five thousand dollars?’ ‘Higher,’ he said between sobs. ‘TEN thousand? Twenty five? Fifty?’ I started to feel ill. It turns out, my husband hadn’t lent the money to a friend at all.”
‘We’re broke. We’re $100 thousand in debt.’ He sent it to an online ‘camgirl.’ He is a porn addict, and has been since before he met me. I sat stunned, staring at him.’
‘I’d be driving to work and see the ‘perfect’ tree to ram my car into. I stared at the railing upstairs, picking out the spot to hang from. I knew this was not normal, but it was my new normal.’
“It was a dreary day. I was standing by the window with tears streaming down my face. The kids were whining in the background. The house was a complete disaster. I was trembling and my knuckles were white from gripping the chair. My marriage was crumbling before my eyes.”
‘I was talking to and rubbing my belly. ‘I’m thankful for you. I love you no matter what. You are my child, and I will treat you as I would treat any child, even if I have to do this by myself.’
“Angelica was admitted into the hospital for emergency surgery. As I was leaving all of my emotions hit me. I felt so overwhelmed, my newborn baby was in the hospital, and now my wife. I felt helpless.”
‘Where are you going?’ I asked. ‘I’m leaving. Obviously, I am not a priority in your life!’ He peeled out of the parking lot, leaving me standing there wondering what the hell just happened.’
“I got a phone call. The woman was getting divorced and needed my help. My boyfriend stomps towards me, handing me my wallet and keys. ‘Your priorities are all out of whack,’ he said as he nearly runs me over while heading towards his car.”
‘My mom rushed in shouting, ‘Get up! Get up! I need you to keep your dad from getting out of bed.’ I sprinted to their room. ‘911? This must be serious! My mom is running, she never runs!’
“My dad was a zombie. He groaned this horrendous noise. As tears rushed down my cheeks, I ran over. There was a surprise guest waiting to pick me up. ‘They are not sure your mom is going to make it,’ he said. ‘But everyone said it wouldn’t be like my dad!,’ was all I kept repeating.”
‘My wife must regret spending her life with me. If she met someone different, she’d have perfectly healthy children,’ I told myself. ‘He is one of 34 people known to have this.’ My heart sank. ‘What? In the country?’ ‘No, in the world.’
“I remember thinking, ‘Maybe we just aren’t the best of parents.’ Little did I know my wife was secretly researching and had discovered a condition. One day, she showed me a video. My heart sunk. I felt dizzy. Straight away, I knew this was what our boy had.”
‘I cheated on you with a woman I met at the gym. She has a daughter, and I’m her father. She’ll be 1-year-old in a few days.’ My mind went blank. ‘Did she know you were married?,’ I asked.’
“If you had told me 4 years ago I would be sitting in a waiting room with my husband, his affair partner, and her mother, I would have laughed in your face. But here I am. I’ll never forget what happened next.”
‘You should leave me.’ The words popped up on my screen. I knew my marriage was stressed, but I had no idea it was about to snap. Fear ripped through my gut. What was going on?!’
“I left the office early to get home and calm things down. He had been drinking. 6 years of sobriety gone in a flash. Then, he confessed to the affair. I was appalled. ‘Did you love her?’ ‘How long?’ ‘Why?’ That night was a blur.”
‘Get in the car,’ my mom forcefully tells me. My mind is racing. Turning me into jail? Where are we going? The drive feels like an eternity.’ She parks. ‘Do you see this place?,’ she chokes out.’
“I had an urge. I was terrified. I went to the only place I knew I was safe. She was asleep. I stood by her crib and stared at the greatest gift I had ever been given, my beautiful baby girl. As I looked at her, tears flooded out of me. That night, she saved my life.”
‘My girlfriend and I were scuba diving. There was an accident. I went too deep for too long. She held her breath, and stopped breathing shortly after. She was declared dead.’
“She came to introduce herself, but I was avoiding any contact. The moment my eye caught a glimpse of her though, I knew she would be trouble for me. She was so elegant, but I wanted nothing to do with women. I was rebuilding myself after a life changing accident.”
