“By the time my son reached Pre-K, there was no denying he was truly one fabulous little guy. People have asked me for years if Sam is gay or transgender. My response? ‘Sam is a child, and if I have anything to do with it, he’ll be a happy one.’”
‘The kid never leaves home without his purse. He spends his money on makeup, and loves all things pink and sparkly.’ Mom supports her 10-year-old non-binary son and ‘all his fabulousness’
‘I plan to finally tell my homophobic parents I’m gay and transgender. By that time, they can’t do anything about it!’
“I asked him if he would come to the hideout so we could talk. No adult knew about it. He met me there, and I told him I was gay. ‘I don’t want to date a guy, that’s disgusting!’ I was devastated.”
‘What did you do to my child?! She’s telling me she’s our SON.’ That was the angry text I got from my ex-wife.’
“‘Do I need to start calling my beautiful little girl my son?’ First, while crying, I sent an admittedly angry reply back. Then I went back inside, dried my eyes, and woke her up. I knew my daughter was ‘different’ for a long time.”
‘I know you’re a boy,’ she whispered, tucking me in and kissing my forehead. My eyes widened. I hid who I was and planned to never tell a soul.’
“I went home and slipped off my dress, praying I’d wake up a normal boy. What was I going to tell my mom? Would my family still love me? Am I going to be safe? I hoped to fake my death and live as a boy, nobody knowing my past.”
‘He asked, ‘What parts do you have?’ I said, ‘EXCUSE ME?’ I was uncomfortable being interrogated. He pressured me. I refused. He decided putting his hands on me was the ‘right’ thing to do.’
“I met a doctor I hadn’t seen before. I lifted my shirt to show him. Accidentally, I lifted it a bit too far, revealing my scars. He stared. I knew he was staring. Instead of doing the right thing, he decided to ‘find out for himself.’”
‘I remember one day looking at her and secretly wishing I was born a girl. When I saw myself in the mirror with a wig and nails painted I wanted to cry, it felt so ‘right’.’
“I became closer to accepting myself. That was until the night I found out I would be having a child. That moment I realized my life was no longer my own.”
‘It was right after the Pulse Nightclub Shooting. We both rolled over in bed. Me: ‘I’m gay.’ Her: ‘I’m transgender.’ Silence. Now what? I’m married. HAPPILY married!’
“Almost all of Sarah’s ‘stay at home clothes’ were now coming from the women’s department. I thought it was strange. I started to connect a few dots. I spent many nights lying awake wondering, ‘IF this was something… could I stick around? Was I ok with this? Could I still love her?”
‘During high school, I decided it was time to tell my family. The thought of losing them was scary. I would return to school after break, for the first time, as myself.’
“To others, I was in need of fixing. In an attempt to make me more masculine and ‘grow out of it,’ I was placed in sports. I feared what I would face.”
‘He told me he didn’t feel attached to our baby, and he didn’t love me anymore. I secretly hoped I would die in childbirth. My life as I knew it, was completely dismantled.’
“I decided to clean out her bedroom. It was a virtual cesspool. As I was clearing away the reminders of her unwell state, I found her suicide note.”
‘I want you to know about the intrusive, vivid nightmares I have about my child being laughed at. Ridiculed. Assaulted. Murdered.’
“I want you to know about the nights I lay awake, helpless and shaking. I want to tell my story of our family, who fiercely love someone being attacked and can do very little about it.”
