tribe

‘I was doing her laundry FOR her. She was watching me fold her thong underwear. She just stood there holding the baby! This is ridiculous.’: Mom urges others to remember helping means doing so with ‘no strings attached’

“I was sitting at a coffee shop and overheard (I was eavesdropping) two women behind me. One was complaining about her daughter-in-law who’d just given birth to her grandchild. ‘I offered to help, but this ridiculous!’ she said. Here’s the thing. I’ve learned if we really want to help, we just show up. We ring their doorbell and start unloading their dishwasher or play with their kid while they take a shower. We shove a lasagna in the oven so they don’t have to think about dinner.”

‘Invite them in. Show them the real you. Cry, laugh, spill your insecurities. Take a chance and find your people.’: Woman thankful for true friends she can ‘do real life’ with

“Find that friend you can spend all day with and not get tired of. The one who shows up uninvited and knows she’s welcome. Who cheers your victories and calls your bullsh*t. The one who asks how you are, and actually listens to the answer. That one who knows the reason you turned down a night out is because you have strict plans to wear sweatpants and do nothing at home by yourself. And she loves you anyway.”

‘What does DTF mean? You swipe which way? Woah, you just sent me a pic of your privates.’ Dating life as a widow is terrifying.’: Young widow recalls first heartbreak post-loss of husband, ‘It stings like hell’

“Mr. Heartbreak knew all the right things to say. He came off very genuine. We clicked immediately, talked for hours on the phone. The first time we met, I was so nervous. He had these intense eyes that looked right through me. After having a drink, we made out in his car like teenagers. He pushed my hair back from my face, told me how beautiful I was. I let myself go there. Then, just like that, ‘This is not light and fun anymore,’ he said.”

‘I got the call at 6 p.m., left my kids with my husband and drove to her house with my socks crammed into my Birkenstocks.’: Mom urges others to ‘just show up’ when friends need you, ‘She didn’t need Pinterest, she needed me’

“When your friend’s husband dies unexpectedly, when she has a baby, when she is going through a divorce, she doesn’t care if you baked the cookies from scratch and perfectly placed them in a platter. Show up in your socks with pizza. I held her, loaded her dishwasher, read her kids a story and tucked them in.”

‘Hey friend, I’m coming over. Please don’t clean up. Please don’t dress up.’: Mom doesn’t want friend to ‘apologize’ for being messy, ‘don’t stress the mess’

“Get ready to answer your door. Please don’t apologize. Please don’t freeze up. Please don’t clam up. Please just BE. Allow me to do the same. If you need to whine, I’m all ears. If you need to wine, I’ll bring a bottle. I’m coming over to support, help, empathize and entertain. I’m not coming over to speculate, assess, criticize or mock.”

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