“We ran out of toilet paper and Tommy was supposed to go to the store. Irritated, I asked him to get me something to use. Maybe a paper towel? He finally walks in holding a pack of wipes. They were a very specific kind, Huggies all-natural wipes. I started tearing up. ‘Put them back, please.’ He laughed and insisted I used them. He didn’t realize how serious I was until I started bawling. Something in his room was now out of place.”
‘Where did you get these?’ I knew. ‘Ren’s nursery.’ He didn’t realize how serious I was. ‘Put them back.’: Wife unexpectedly triggered by husband’s attempt at act of kindness, ‘It was all downhill from there’
‘Why wouldn’t you just turn on the lamp first?’, I’ve thought silently a thousand times. ‘Wait, why are you like this?’: Husband unexpectedly ‘triggers’ wife by reminding her of mother’s abuse
“Sometimes, my husband goes to bed before me. He turns off the big lights, and then turns on a lamp for me. It should be literally no big deal, right? Just a nice thing for him to do on his way to bed, in all reality. It has always annoyed me to my absolute core.”
‘I had to wear a wig on my wedding day. ‘What’s going on?!’ my mom asked. ‘I don’t know,’ I lied. It was my dirty little secret. I was a prisoner of my own body, and I put myself there.’
“I had anxiety about what people would say to my son about my hair. Would he be teased because of me? I just couldn’t do that to him. I bought a wig and started an 18-year game of hide-my-hair. I couldn’t believe what I was doing to myself. Each day, I hoped no one caught me.”
‘I held this dark secret. I remember thinking, ‘What the heck? Are people weird like me, too?’ Cruel kids would ask, ‘What are you doing? Why are you pulling out your hair?’ I’m done hiding.’
“When I was 8 years old, I vividly remember pulling out an eyelash as I sat in my mom’s car in the drive-thru. And you know what? I LIKED the feeling from it. It was oddly satisfying. I kept pulling them out until my eyelashes were bald. Then, my parents began to notice. They couldn’t accept I was doing this to myself.”
‘He continued to call me, begging. The conversations were so strange, I started to record them. ‘I’m so sorry baby, I love you. I want to work this out.’ I ended up moving for my safety.’
“Yesterday was dentist day for me. I sat in the chair anxiously waiting, nervous as hell and scared. I wasn’t scared to see the dentist, but scared to have to explain what had happened.”
‘My friend is having her first baby the same month I lost mine. But you are NOT my trigger.’
“It’s baby season. I am honored to celebrate with you. I love attending your baby showers and purchasing those little newborn clothes. But we all grieve differently.”
‘She looked me dead in the eye. ‘What is it? Did the man leave?’ I can tell she was scared, her face went pale. Then I called 911.’
“I remember her concentrating on a certain part of my shirt, of course, I was scared. I never made it seem as if she was alone in this journey.”
‘Yes darling, what is it?,’ she said. ‘If I told you something, will you promise me nothing would to happen to my mom, sister or dad?’: Woman overcomes PTSD to find her ‘happy ending’
“I told my grandmother everything I could remember of that night, every detail of what he told me. My whole life changed in an instant; one day I had a family, then my family became smaller. I blamed myself for what had happened. I always thought I was dirty and an awful person because of what happened.”
‘I wanted to scream, ‘WHAT ARE YOU NOT TELLING ME?!,’ but I didn’t have to wait long. At our two-month check up, our worst fears were confirmed.’
“Her right arm looked like a chicken wing. Her other arm started to hang limp. It was rotated inward, as if it were dislocated.”
‘Well, Bobbie, that’s just what men do,’ she said to me tenderly. ‘My uncle did that to me too.’
“My eyes grew large as I looked at her and said, ‘No. That is not what men do.'”
