“My teenage daughter was standing in the tree lot, her face scrunched up, drawing in a deep breath. Oh for the love of all that’s Holy, she’s going to cry again. ‘It’s a Charlie Brown tree!,’ she shrieked. I rolled my eyes, wishing I’d indulged in a second glass of vino. I thought the worst had passed. Then she blurted out the words I didn’t expect. ‘My dad would’ve NEVER bought this tree!’ There it was. Her dad, who always made everything perfect, died. In front of her. While she held his hand.”
‘Please don’t cry,’ I mumbled. ‘It’s a tree. It’s just a tree.’ And then it happened, full blown tears.’: Mom realizes teenage daughter’s meltdown was triggered by loss of father, ‘No matter how many presents I buy, nothing can heal her pain’
‘Where did you get these?’ I knew. ‘Ren’s nursery.’ He didn’t realize how serious I was. ‘Put them back.’: Wife unexpectedly triggered by husband’s attempt at act of kindness, ‘It was all downhill from there’
“We ran out of toilet paper and Tommy was supposed to go to the store. Irritated, I asked him to get me something to use. Maybe a paper towel? He finally walks in holding a pack of wipes. They were a very specific kind, Huggies all-natural wipes. I started tearing up. ‘Put them back, please.’ He laughed and insisted I used them. He didn’t realize how serious I was until I started bawling. Something in his room was now out of place.”
‘Why wouldn’t you just turn on the lamp first?’, I’ve thought silently a thousand times. ‘Wait, why are you like this?’: Husband unexpectedly ‘triggers’ wife by reminding her of mother’s abuse
“Sometimes, my husband goes to bed before me. He turns off the big lights, and then turns on a lamp for me. It should be literally no big deal, right? Just a nice thing for him to do on his way to bed, in all reality. It has always annoyed me to my absolute core.”
‘I had to wear a wig on my wedding day. ‘What’s going on?!’ my mom asked. ‘I don’t know,’ I lied. It was my dirty little secret. I was a prisoner of my own body, and I put myself there.’
“I had anxiety about what people would say to my son about my hair. Would he be teased because of me? I just couldn’t do that to him. I bought a wig and started an 18-year game of hide-my-hair. I couldn’t believe what I was doing to myself. Each day, I hoped no one caught me.”
‘I held this dark secret. I remember thinking, ‘What the heck? Are people weird like me, too?’ Cruel kids would ask, ‘What are you doing? Why are you pulling out your hair?’ I’m done hiding.’
“When I was 8 years old, I vividly remember pulling out an eyelash as I sat in my mom’s car in the drive-thru. And you know what? I LIKED the feeling from it. It was oddly satisfying. I kept pulling them out until my eyelashes were bald. Then, my parents began to notice. They couldn’t accept I was doing this to myself.”
‘He continued to call me, begging. The conversations were so strange, I started to record them. ‘I’m so sorry baby, I love you. I want to work this out.’ I ended up moving for my safety.’
“Yesterday was dentist day for me. I sat in the chair anxiously waiting, nervous as hell and scared. I wasn’t scared to see the dentist, but scared to have to explain what had happened.”
‘My friend is having her first baby the same month I lost mine. But you are NOT my trigger.’
“It’s baby season. I am honored to celebrate with you. I love attending your baby showers and purchasing those little newborn clothes. But we all grieve differently.”
‘She looked me dead in the eye. ‘What is it? Did the man leave?’ I can tell she was scared, her face went pale. Then I called 911.’
“I remember her concentrating on a certain part of my shirt, of course, I was scared. I never made it seem as if she was alone in this journey.”
‘Yes darling, what is it?,’ she said. ‘If I told you something, will you promise me nothing would to happen to my mom, sister or dad?’: Woman overcomes PTSD to find her ‘happy ending’
“I told my grandmother everything I could remember of that night, every detail of what he told me. My whole life changed in an instant; one day I had a family, then my family became smaller. I blamed myself for what had happened. I always thought I was dirty and an awful person because of what happened.”
‘She might not see her first birthday.’ Her right arm looked like a little chicken wing. I knew it was urgent.’: Couple loses daughter to Spinal Muscular Atrophy, ‘Love can heal any wound’
“She couldn’t hold her head up and struggled to breathe. Every single doctor said, ‘There’s nothing else that can be done.’ I felt so helpless. But there was nowhere else I would’ve rather been. As we heard her breathing rattle with fluid, I cried out to God to end her suffering.”
