“My heart was operated on years ago. I was told pregnancy would be a risk. Now, my heart had to pump blood for 3 extra people! For the sake of my babies, I drove 7 hours for a ‘fetal reduction’. My husband and I couldn’t even look each other in the eye. 3 hours in, we started crying and decided to stop. I just couldn’t convince myself this was supposed to happen.”
‘Terminate one baby.’ My weak heart couldn’t handle triplets. But as a triplet myself, I wanted all three.’: Triplet births triplets against all odds, delivers 3 ‘healthy, amazing little miracles’
‘This baby is not a replacement for the 2 children I lost.’ Mom pregnant with rainbow baby says even though this pregnancy is ‘completely different,’ there is still ‘fear and heartache’
“As the weeks edge closer to delivery day, I find myself conflicted with emotions. The joy and love I feel for this unborn child is genuine. But, child loss has broken me. This baby has already proved to help me heal, but she will never be a replacement for the son and daughter who died in my arms.”
‘I glanced at the clock. My heart skipped a beat. 4:58. On this day, at 4:58 a.m., my first daughter was born. Nearly 2 hours later, she passed away.’: Mom recalls tragic day she lost 2 of her triplets
“As she began eating her birthday dessert, my daughter looked at me. ‘How do we get cheesecake to Heaven? I think my brother and sister would like some.’ Through tears, I smiled. Our family is missing two of our children, but it turns out, they are never far away.”
‘The checkout lady saw my cart. ‘Oh wow! Did you get too many things on your registry?’ Tears poured down my face. ‘No, two of my children died,’ I said. ‘I don’t need these anymore.’
“In addition to planning two funerals, my husband and I were left with a room full of baby items. Three boppy pillows, three bouncers, enough diapers for three little babies. I waited in line to return it all. The grief took a hold of me.”
‘To the parents of Abigail.’ I was shuffling through the junk mail, before tossing it in the trash. But the last letter left me frozen. My heart began racing. I gasped as I read the name.’
“As I stared at the letter, my hand started shaking. I found myself holding my breath, paralyzed by the shock of the unexpected. Seeing her name in writing after so many years caught me off guard.”
‘My low was mommy fighting at me. She YELLED.’ He said in a firm and frustrated voice. My husband looked at me. I was mortified. I felt ashamed.’
“We were sitting around the dinner table sharing our ‘highs and lows’ of the day. Everyone was laughing. It felt like such a good meal conversation. It was Sawyer’s turn to share his high and low. ‘Alright buddy, you’re up.’ It got quiet.”
‘I don’t want to sit in the middle!,’ he screamed. The neighbors were staring. I never knew so much anger existed in me until I became a mom. It is terrifying. I don’t even recognize myself.’
“‘I’m going to hold your legs down until you calm down because you’re hurting me when you kick.’ Our neighbors were still watching. It’s shameful, embarrassing, and humiliating. He screamed and kicked and fought. I could feel my anxiety creeping in.”
‘Our life came to a halt. Our son was gravely ill. Looks can be deceiving. I tell him how guilty I am. His eyes become glassy. ‘I’m OK. I have a son,’ he says with a smile. I begin to sob.’
“As we pack up our belongings and head to the car, my husband can tell something is off. The moment we get into the car, I break down. We had been faced with the unimaginable. Two of our children passed away.”
‘I thought you would like to meet your children,’ the nurse said with a smile. She handed me a stack of pictures, my first glimpse of my tiny premature babies.’
“I met my son for the first time, thanks to this picture. A picture that was taken by our nurse. She walked in, making the trek from a different building and several floors away. She knew I was too weak to visit the NICU, and hoped seeing my children would help me heal.”
‘It was a miracle. I was in my 40s! I completely doubted my chances of getting pregnant. We found out it was triplets. We couldn’t believe it.’
“We decided to try for children on our own ONE final time. They gave me the choice to terminate one of my babies, or risk losing the twins. But we felt we were given a third baby for a reason, so we decided to take our chances.”
