“Alas, a picture was taken. I scrolled through the 50 she took of us and I was not thrilled with what I was looking at. Why? Because of my stomach. The little house this baby grew in was the reason for my disgust. It took me 3 days to even look at those pictures again.”
‘I didn’t remember I had my shirt off. ‘Mama, can I take a picture of Bowie?’ I vaguely remember shifting him on my hip so she’d see him better.’: Mom felt ‘disgusted’ after postpartum photos, says it’s ‘normal to mourn your body’
‘My husband took me to Louis Vuitton and told me I could choose a purse for my birthday. Y’all, I’m not a Louis kinda gal.’
“I went in the store and felt…a wee bit outta place. I quickly turned my rugged Fossil purse around so the sales people wouldn’t see the brand and know I didn’t belong. I found a sales person who offered me champagne. CHAMPAGNE? Then, I asked the price.”
‘I’m not attached to my baby. There, I said it.’
“It’s a harsh reality to admit, and I’m sure I’ll get a few gasps. But it’s the honest truth. And I know I’m not alone. I shrug off compliments from strangers about my pregnancy. This is my coping mechanism.”
‘I married the man of my dreams, created a family, and realized after 9 years we weren’t able to pray the gay away.’
“He pulled me aside and told me he ‘struggled’ with homosexuality. My response: ‘Wow, you’re going to need a really strong wife!’ For the very first time, Kyle actually said out loud, ‘I am a gay man and I want to be with a man.’”
‘My husband and I met in a place called Dixie Chicken. Don’t tell my parents. To this day, they think we met in the Methodist church parking lot.’
“I was older. I was over the college scene. I’d been burned a few times. I had zero interest in boys, but my neighbor thought he was cute, so I agreed to go talk to him for her. Oops.”
‘My daughter, who is always listening, said, ‘I bet she will say, ‘OH, NO! It’s fine!’ But deep down, she will be angry at you.’ That is what my 9-year-old daughter has already learned. From me.’
“I lie awake after parties and wonder if my joke was taken the wrong way. Whose feelings did I hurt? I apologized to my daughter for my actions that lead her to think women had to hide. That pleasing people should be a top priority. The truth is enough.”
‘I heard my name. ‘Are you Suzanne?’ A woman approached me. I was confused, even scared I had done something wrong. ‘Yes?,’ I said nervously.’
“He cried for what felt like 24 straight hours. He felt like an idiot for believing. I didn’t have all the answers. I didn’t really have any.”
‘Dear husband, it’s time you know the TRUTH about Christmas. I am Santa. But this year, things are about to change.’
“I need you to stuff my stocking. That sounds perverted, but get your mind out of the gutter. I mean it in the most literal sense.”
‘It’s 3 a.m. and you’d like a cookie? OKAY!’ It’s funny how my once-strict mother turned into the good witch from the Wizard of Oz, her tutu lined with snacks, the second her children were grown.
“I hear being a grandparent is the height of bliss. You get all of the benefits of enjoying children. You can spoil them rotten, discipline them rarely or not at all, and send them home to their parents as soon as you’re sick of watching Moana for the 82nd time this week. What’s not to love?”
‘I was 18 when I had my first child. Now, I’m Mother of the Bride. I am not wearing shapewear. My love for eating and my disdain for Spandex imprisonment rail against it.’
“I’m only 44, so I don’t want some flowy, champagne-colored gown with a bespangled bodice. I’m at least 20 years away from that outfit. Of course, va-va-voom is out. It’s my daughter’s day and I’m not much of a bombshell anyhow. I want to look nice, but not come-hither.”
