“Nurses didn’t know how to approach me. I got statements like, ‘I’ve been a nurse 23 years and have never worked with twins like them.’ People are shocked. When we’re out in public I get questions. ‘Are they adopted?’ ‘Are they twins?’ ‘Do they have the same father?’ It’s amazing.”
‘Is it weird having one white twin and one black twin?’ They are POLAR OPPOSITES! She is fair-skinned with bright blue eyes. He is dark skinned with brown eyes and black hair.’
‘I looked in every bloodied towel, piece of clothing, and bathroom for a sign of a precious life to bury. I whispered to myself, ‘Why are you doing this?’ In a fog of confusion, I quietly sobbed.’
“I waddled up the driveway with the sheer terror of dropping my insides out on the rocks and cement. My husband was pale and quiet as he whispered he ‘had no idea.'”
‘Ten weeks. That’s when I found out I was having twins. 11 weeks, when I was guaranteed I wouldn’t be having twins. ‘Baby B is not going to make it. You’re putting Baby A in serious jeopardy.’
“They must’ve thought I was crazy. I didn’t cry. I didn’t even hardly react, other than to adamantly stick with my gut. I was pregnant with 2 LIVING babies. I sure as hell wasn’t going to just cut the cord because it sounded like a good idea.”
‘It’s the heart! Something is wrong with our baby’s heart’ The kicking and screaming slowly stopped and he was limp and asleep.
“We hugged and kissed and told SJ how much we love him. He was emotional this time. He cried and cried saying no more pokies mommy. I want to go home. With each tear that fell from his eyes my heart was crushed a little more.”
‘Hi, I was 5 minutes away from calling you.’ Our baby’s heart was not sitting on the left side of her chest, but shifted to the right side. My stomach dropped with those words.’
“Silently, he began drawing on a blank piece of paper. When he was done, he turned to us, showed us his drawing, and began explaining what our future would look like. I started bawling. But we knew we needed to do it.”
‘Don’t worry, when he’s here you can wrap him in a blanket and nobody will ever know he’s different.’ That’s all it took for the tears to start. This was all too much.’
“‘The only thing I worry about is his size,’ I said, smiling. I was terrified of having to push out anything bigger than 8 pounds. How ironic now, come to think of it. They asked me what I already knew about his condition. Nothing, I realized I knew absolutely nothing.”
‘But that won’t be the case for you,’ he said. I was 18 weeks pregnant when I was told to ‘just terminate’ the life of my unborn baby.
“I was told to terminate his life because there was very little chance he would survive pregnancy. And if by some miracle he did, he would most certainly endure a life of suffering marked by severe disabilities.”
‘Every week, they wanted me to abort. I was asked several times at every appointment. Did they get a prize for ‘selling’ me on an abortion? It sure seemed like it.’
“At 16 weeks, we were scheduled for our anatomy scan to find out if it was a boy or girl. On that day, not only did we find out that we were going to be having a boy, but we also found out that our baby had an anomaly, and we needed to see a specialist right away.”
‘This is an unhealthy pregnancy. There is no way he will make it.’ My husband and I didn’t believe them. We saw a baby kicking with a strong heartbeat. We have never felt more confused.’
“He was born the following morning, eyes still fused shut. His skin was translucent. It was the scariest thing I have ever seen. He was intubated right away. I refused. I knew he was strong, and I knew if they just gave him TIME he would get there, as he always had.”
‘I remember the doctor asking, ‘Where’s your husband? He’s not going to be here to pick you up after you faint when I tell you, you’re having twins?!’ ’Wait, WHAT?!’
“Then we saw it up on the ultrasound screen – clear as day. THREE babies. She told us to consider reduction, a thought we couldn’t imagine. I couldn’t believe we had gone through so much to get to this point, and now a doctor was telling me to throw it all away.”
