“There’s nothing I want more than to see his beautiful smile. But part of being in love with someone struggling with mental health is dealing with the ugly. It’s true what they say. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. But there’s also a damn dimmer switch in that tunnel too.”
“I don’t care that he gets good grades. I don’t care whether or not he is popular. I don’t care whether or not he is talented.”
“Attending 8th grade with terrible morning sickness was especially challenging. The rumors started. I began receiving notes. ‘I heard you’re pregnant. Is it true?!’ I was advised to have an abortion by everyone, except my mom. Even after sneaking out, stealing her car, skipping school, alcohol and drugs, she NEVER gave up on me.”
“Matthew was constantly asking to watch Disney princess movies. ‘Kids are kids,’ I thought. I loved my feminine, eccentric son. The problem was, the older he got, the more he did not love himself. He was always angry. He’d flip chairs at school. He was misunderstood, but to what degree I had no idea. ‘When I grow up and I’m a girl…’ My husband and I would correct him, and often, he’d be sad with the reality.”
“I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask to cry myself to sleep every night. I didn’t ask to be verbally abused, nor did I ask for a mother that had not one nurturing bone in her body.”
Yes, he has a messy life. I have a messy life too. We all do! It would have been easy to ignore Mark.
“She called a gay bar for advice. I told her, ‘Tell him he is loved and accepted.’”