victim blaming

‘We still have to invite uncle Tommy to Thanksgiving.’ I will not be part of a family who chooses my abuser over me.’: Rape survivor ‘thankful’ for second family who takes her in during the holidays

“For years, my anxiety was high during the holidays, my emotions an all-time low. Nobody knew the cause. After I came out about my sexual assault, my family didn’t know what to believe. My uncle was a ‘great guy.’ When, the shock wore off, my mom hugged me. ‘Everything will be alright.’ Yet, she continues to invite him to every holiday. No one should have to exist in the same room with the one who makes them want to vanish within it.”

‘She’d been faking it for 10 years. I was kicked out. ‘Dustin, I’m gay. Say goodbye to our dogs.’: Man finally ‘healed’ after wife comes out as gay, ‘I wish her all the happiness in the world’

“I’d done everything I was supposed to do. I found a woman I loved. We had a house, dogs, great jobs. We were the rock solid couple to be envied. I cried for the first time in 10 years. ‘If you don’t leave, I’m calling the police.’ Something inside me cracked and fell away. I couldn’t speak. I was left to pick up the pieces of my white-picket life. Worst of all, I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone.”

‘Never say ‘NO’ to a guy who had the courage to ask you to dance. It’s 3 minutes. It’s not THAT bad.’: Mom ‘shocked, disgusted’ by church flyer she claims ‘perpetuates rape culture’

“The flyer tells girls, ‘Wear a little lip gloss. And don’t forget the approved dress standards. You don’t want the guy dancing with you to feel uncomfortable because of the questionable outfit you justified.’ No. NOPE. NOOO! My church taught me I needed men to tell me how to behave sexually. I lived my whole life with shame, guilt. This is not happening with my daughter.”

‘It was a long time ago. Get over it!’ I was the victim. I thought my family would hold me. Instead, I was blamed.’: Woman admits brother’s sexual abuse, ‘forgiveness doesn’t mean you must have a relationship with your abuser’

“I sent my brother an email. ‘I was a wake last night.’ He never came into my bedroom at night again. When it came time for my wedding years later, my mom insisted I do things ‘her way.’ She wanted my brother to stand beside my husband. We danced around it, but nothing worked. I had to tell her what my brother did to me. ‘How could you do this to us? You’re tearing our family apart,’ I was told. For years, I tried to navigate this deep, dark pit and find light. She threw me back into the dirt.”

‘I was an intern. He was the manager. I was in his home with his wife and kids. He knew what he did was wrong, but that he could get away with it. That same year, the unthinkable happened.’

“I didn’t know what to say or do. I was frozen. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t concentrate. My mind pretended like it never happened. I felt like I couldn’t ‘risk my career’ by speaking up, so I remained silent. I kept thinking to myself, ‘Just graduate and get a job.’”

‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ I hopped into his car, not yet understanding what pedophilia was.’: Male sexual abuse survivor finally realizes ‘it wasn’t my fault’ after 32 years

“My mom wasn’t looking. In a moment’s notice, this stranger had given me the attention I’d tried for years to get from my dad. When he removed my pants, he removed my dignity, my identity, my hope to feel whole. For 2 years, he made me believe that I was ‘enjoying it’ because I had physical response to it. I believed him. It took me 13 years to call it what it was: abuse.”

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