“Leaving meant dying and staying meant torture. My mornings consisted of figuring out how much time I had to dry my eyes and wash the blood off before work. How much time I had before he came home to get on my hands and knees and pray for my life. On average? 11 minutes. Then the abuse clock started again. It’s not easy loving a domestic violence survivor, but my partner makes it look easy.”
‘You look so much more beautiful with a black eye.’ My entire life revolved around staying alive. There was no tomorrow, no next week. Just the now, and an escape plan.’: Young woman escapes domestic violence, finds love with ‘selfless’ man
‘No one else will love you besides me.’ It was like looking in the face of the devil.’: Young woman’s unexpected pregnancy gives her courage to leave abusive boyfriend, ‘never look back’
“One day it all changed. I peed on a stick and it said positive. I was pregnant with my son. My maternal instincts kicked in. The next time he beat me, I was done. I may not have loved myself enough to leave, but the love I had for my son was so big, I could not allow someone to hurt him.”
‘I received a note from my brother. ‘Have you ever wanted to see a naked man?’ I was disgusted and appalled. ‘No! Why would you ask that?!’ He my best friend. Until he shattered that trust.’
“From the outside, I grew up in a great family. But there were dark secrets. My world fell apart at 13. I rustled awake, and my brother ran out of my room. Minutes later, he poked his head in. ‘Are you okay?’ I remember sitting at supper with him feeling so disgusted.”
‘You need to get over it,’ he said. ‘You’re being ridiculous.’ My boyfriend yelled at me in our Uber. He was so upset with me, and told me I was ‘too emotional.’ All I felt was fear.’
“We went out. I had too much to drink. I went to the bathroom and thought my current boyfriend was going to wait for me, but instead, I couldn’t find him after. Then all of a sudden, I saw a guy from my past. I was a victim of his, and I had a panic attack. I found my boyfriend. ‘We need to leave.’”
‘My bully was 6’3 and 300 pounds. Only he wasn’t on the playground, but in my home. He ran it like a military boot camp from hell. When he freed me, I wasn’t allowed to say a word.’
“This man could literally lift the front end of cars. While other girls my age chased butterflies and dreams, I hid in closets from my living nightmares. But no matter how many times the neighbors called social services, nothing changed. Why didn’t anyone help?”
‘I was an intern. He was the manager. I was in his home with his wife and kids. He knew what he did was wrong, but that he could get away with it. That same year, the unthinkable happened.’
“I didn’t know what to say or do. I was frozen. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t concentrate. My mind pretended like it never happened. I felt like I couldn’t ‘risk my career’ by speaking up, so I remained silent. I kept thinking to myself, ‘Just graduate and get a job.’”
‘I told my husband I was going to the lounge for snacks. ‘I’ll be back in 5 minutes.’ I took about 10 steps. That’s when I heard it. Heavy footsteps. One, two, three, four. Then they sped up.’
“His arms wrapped around me and he started pulling me into an unlocked maintenance room. This man thought he killed me, but he failed. How do you explain to your kids, ‘Mommy is coming home, but I don’t look like myself’?”
‘I can’t take the way my dad watches me get dressed. I need to leave,’ I told my friends. A man near us was listening. He was wearing an NYPD shirt. He said he would help me.’
“The man came over, introduced himself and told us he was a police officer. I was scared. My dad was old and I was his caregiver, so I didn’t want to press charges. I just needed to make things better. This man listened. I mean, really listened. I stayed out with him later than usual.”
‘Just be a good boy and relax,’ he said. He was my teacher. Other men watched. Next was a priest and a trio of monks. I was 11 and my parents didn’t know.’
“I put on my backpack, left school, and walked across the street. I was surprised to be greeted by two smiling men who didn’t offer me a Coke, but real alcohol. I was flattered to be included in such grown-up activity. All three of us got into the car. I was naïve to their motives.”
‘He crept in my room when my mother was working. My stepdad said she wanted me to do ‘those things’ to make him happy in her absence. I was afraid. I could trust no one.’
“I was told I was ‘Pretty for a big girl.’ Because I was overweight, I thought that would keep me safe. If I stayed fat, no one would want to touch me. My grandparents would ask me questions. Of course I denied it.”
