“I manage a smile and lie. ‘Soon.’ I rush out the door, no coffee in hand, and cry in my jeep. Those extra 40 pounds are grief weight. My body starts to feel like a cruel joke. ‘When are you having kids?’ ‘Have kids already!’ ‘I’m ready to be a grandma. The clock is ticking!’ they say. But when I stillbirth? No questions. No words. Just silence. My husband battles silent resent. There’s no baby, so there’s no marriage. These weren’t the vows I signed up for.”
‘When’s the baby coming?’ My face turns red in Starbucks. I’m not pregnant, and I’ve been struggling to be.’: Woman battling infertility reminds us ‘words have weight,’ vows to ‘never give up’
‘I loved my older cousin. At 8, I learned the only way to be friends with him was to have sex with him.’: Daughter and mother in addiction recovery together after years of childhood trauma, ‘If that isn’t wonderful, I don’t know what is’
“I remember the bright red carpet in his closet. This ongoing ‘event’ became our secret, I held onto this secret for close to 15 years. I never got over what happened to me, I stuffed it so far down. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I finally surrendered. I had enough. I needed to give myself a chance to live.”
‘I have stretch marks, saggy skin, a weird fat fold around my C-section scar. I don’t really love myself. This has to stop.’: Mom insists weight does not define us, cannot keep letting ‘my imperfections consume me’
“I can’t pass this on to my daughters. I can’t have them looking at their bodies in search of flaws. I don’t want them to put all of their worth in what they see in the mirror. I want them to know, what I still am trying to convince myself. We might have fat, but we are not fat. This is not WHO we are.”
‘When he turned a year old, he couldn’t sit up. He didn’t play with toys. He was essentially a newborn. He kept his left hand clenched, and his entire left side was tight.’
“I’ll never forget the words he said. ‘Knowing what his brain looks like, I can’t believe he is talking like this.’ I went to my car and cried. I cried tears of joy and tears of relief. And if I’m being honest, a few tears of fear. By early May, it was confirmed.”
‘I wouldn’t care if I didn’t wake up,’ I texted my husband. I planned to ram my car into the cement pillars under the overpass.’: Woman battling depression reminds us to ‘take it one day at a time’
“My husband got a new job so we could see each other more. Things were going well until one day I randomly got extremely depressed. My husband left for work and I started thinking, ‘You’re fat, you’re ugly, no one loves you, and you aren’t going anywhere in life.’ I grabbed my keys, hugged my cat, got in my car, and started driving down the highway. This was it, this was the day I was going to commit suicide.”
‘Are you going to lose weight for the wedding?’ I felt judged for my shape, ashamed and humiliated. ‘Yes, I will be losing weight.’ Then came the moment where I found the dress.’
“I stood there semi naked, holding my breath. I stepped into the wedding dress. My consultant whipped the curtain open and my mom gasped. All I could think was, ‘Here comes my further humiliation.'”
‘I was fat shamed at my husband’s funeral. Just when they were about to put him in the ground, I heard it. It came from across the other side of the casket.’
“I thought I was the only one who heard. Seconds later, my sister turned to me.”
‘An ex-boyfriend said I was hotter because I was ‘so much smaller now.’ People would give me continuous complements like, ‘You’re so thin. You look amazing!’ I was actually miserable.’
“These pictures are taken about 10 months apart. On the left, I weigh about 140 pounds. On the right, just under 122. Peers I saw on campus or at bars would point out, as if it was the best complement one could give, how tiny I had suddenly become.”
‘Tell the truth. When you were dating your wife, and she got so comfortable that she started to pack on the pounds, you noticed.’
“You noticed when she started to lose her desire for hanky panky. We don’t need you to lie or pretend that our current reality is different than it is. We just want to be noticed.”
‘He had a stranger over at my house where my kids sleep. My entire 10-year marriage was a lie. I left him without a car and without a plan.’: Woman credits husband’s infidelity with life- changing weight loss
“In one night, I found out I weighed over 400 pounds. I also found out I was pregnant and losing a baby in one breath. I am still working through those emotions. That moment was a severe wake-up call that I needed to change my life. I didn’t realize how much my husband’s infidelity had affected me until I stepped on that scale.”
