“When I moved, all the women looked like movie stars. Blonde with bountiful boobs, thin waists, and faces full of makeup. I went for a haircut and told the stylist I felt so out of place; I’d never be able to compete with these women. He stopped his snipping just long enough to say, ‘Sure you will. If you’re willing to pay enough.’”
‘I hid my habits. On the way to visit my boyfriend, I’d down a burger in my car, hide the evidence, then go to dinner a few hours later like a proper lady. Salad only, please.’
‘I was 6 when I wore my first bathing suit in a beauty competition. I was 8 when my dance instructor told my mom I was too chubby. I was 15 when I became addicted to diet pills.’
“After being sexually assaulted as a toddler, my trust was shaken. After becoming a mother, I’ve gained 75 pounds. You’d think that existing in a larger body – something I feared my entire life – would lead me further down the self-loathing spiral. But something miraculous has happened.”
‘He locked me in the basement for days. I asked him to help with baths for our kids that night. He turned off the power, so I went down to turn it back on – and he left me there.’
“I was hungry, and had nothing to eat. There was a sink down there I used to drink water. I was so done dealing with things. I sat and hoped he was taking care of our children upstairs. I kept wondering how I would get out.”
‘Each morning I wake up with the same thought. ‘Do I want to eat today, or do I want to feel skinny?’ I refuse my family’s offerings as they cook their eggs and pour their cereal.’
“I quietly sip my coffee and think to myself, ‘If I eat, I’m instantly going to feel fat.’ It’s a 2-hour struggle with fear and lies about my body before I realize I’m actually starving.”
‘His eyes would shake back and forth. He started throwing his head back, screaming at the top of his lungs. He had lost so much weight. Something was terribly wrong with my bundle of joy.’
“Three doctors came in. They told us we needed to sit down and relax. Nothing could ever have prepared us for what they were about to say. I just sat there, blank. He’s just a baby.”
‘I’m finally happy, and now I’m going to die?’ I was losing blood from somewhere. My heart sank. I was terrified. All I could think about were my children and my husband.’
“My periods were out of control, I did nothing but bleed constantly. I would fill overnight pads within an hour. I stayed in pain, it was unbearable. My husband came home on his lunch and found me doubled over in the floor, unable to move.”
‘Post College Depression is a thing, I have it, WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT IT?’
“I spent four years building the life I wanted, and it all got pulled from under me after I graduated. How do I function without all of these THINGS? I didn’t know. Not to mention the pressures of the real world creeping up on you.”
‘I lost 100 pounds in less 8 months. I was sick. I had gotten down to eating only one orange a day. Then I gained it all back. I got the phone call that changed my life. My mother had died.’
“We have unexpectedly adopted 2 newborn babies and moved our youngest boy’s biological brother in with us for an undetermined amount of time. Being a working mom of 5 boys really takes a toll on my workout routine and takes a LOT of juggling.”
‘I remember this guy said I had a ‘tight rig.’ I never ate much, I glorified my thinness. I was valued. I was funny, I felt pretty.’
“I met a guy, we fell in love and wanted babies. 3 kids, 2 vaginals, 1 cesarean, postpartum depression, antidepressant weight gain, and life later, this is my rig. I hated it. I would say it was broken. It’s not the person I valued anymore.”
‘You wouldn’t have lost weight at the holocaust.’ I had things like ‘fatty’ and ‘ugly hippo’ scrawled across every school book page. I felt like dying. I felt like giving up.’
“I was shoved down the stairs by a drunk guy at a party. ‘You are going too slow,’ he said as he pushed me. Once again, visuals of high school flooded my head, and I started to feel myself giving up.”
