widow by suicide

‘I gave an ultimatum. ‘Get help or I need a divorce.’ Something jolted me awake at 1 a.m. The door to the gun safe was open.’: Widow finds forgiveness after husband’s suicide, ‘I meet his memory with sympathy’

“As soon as I woke, I immediately went looking for my husband. I don’t know how, but I knew something was terribly wrong. I searched room-by-room and when I got to the office, I saw it. A note on the desk. I remember screaming in my backyard, crying to the 911 operator. ‘Can you tell me about his erratic behavior?’ I watched the blood on my hands go down the sink as I tried my best to answer questions. Guilt washed over me.”

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