“I can’t pass this on to my daughters. I can’t have them looking at their bodies in search of flaws. I don’t want them to put all of their worth in what they see in the mirror. I want them to know, what I still am trying to convince myself. We might have fat, but we are not fat. This is not WHO we are.”
‘I have stretch marks, saggy skin, a weird fat fold around my C-section scar. I don’t really love myself. This has to stop.’: Mom insists weight does not define us, cannot keep letting ‘my imperfections consume me’
‘With tears welling up in my eyes, I was only able to mutter one question: ‘But why does it hurt so much when I eat?’ Nobody answered me.’
“For what felt like an eternity, I laid quietly in my hospital bed, still surrounded by these strangers who were supposed to be some of the best doctors in the country, until a young-looking doctor standing across from the psychologist broke the silence, ‘Your head is messing with you, there is nothing physically wrong.'”
‘I can’t look like this anymore!’ I begged my parents for surgery. I’d arrive a new person and no one would have anything to say about my looks anymore. I was sure this was it.’
“I returned to school after going under the knife. ‘Are you thinking about a career in porn? You look like a porn star now,’ a boy said. I was shocked. I decided it was time to finally fight back.”
‘Behind every successful woman is a tribe. A tribe of women who could choose to compete, but take the higher road of collaboration instead.’
“A tribe of other women who refuse to get jealous. Who refuse to compare. Who refuse to belittle, or go low. Who refuse to gossip, or leave out, or hurt just to watch her crumble under the pressure.”
‘Dear Man on my flight, You referred to me as a ‘2-ton woman.’ I confronted you. ‘I am not 2 tons, but I did just have a baby.’ You asked the flight attendant for a different seat.’
“Would he have said that had I been a man? Or had my daughter and husband with me? I don’t know. But women deal with these attitudes and behavior more than men, that I do know. And I. Am. Over. It.”
‘I was lost at 4 a.m. I needed help and this man assured me he could help me get home. In a puddle of my own blood, he left me in the dark.’
“He called out in Spanish, “I have your phone, you can’t call anyone.”
‘I was standing in the checkout line at the grocery store. I had just had my third baby a month earlier. I will never forget what happened while we were waiting to pay for our groceries.’
“I turned back toward my grocery cart to begin putting my items on the conveyor with one arm while using the other to hold the baby and keep track of the two big kids. To my alarm, my cart was nearly empty.”
‘I caught a glimpse of my 12-year-old daughter and wondered who that woman was.’
“Every mama’s heart is burdened with the weight of her children’s fleeting childhoods. But the beauty is that we are still Mama. They may be too big to carry, or are living with their spouses, but we are still Mama.”
‘My closest friends decided to leave me forever. My core group was gone. My heart was broken. New friends? It is terrifying to put yourself out there. Girls can be mean. Women can be vicious.’
“I can prepare and clean my house for 3 hours the 1st few times you come for a visit. But I can only pretend it is usually this clean for so long before you find out the truth. One day you will stop in because you forgot your sweater, and you will see the underwear one of my boys flung on the couch and the dinner dishes piled up from last night.”
‘In truth, I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to be (just) me anymore. I have found such comfort and safety in being a mother.’
“I was married young. I was pregnant soon after. I followed my husband’s career and livelihood. And all I keep hearing is: ‘Well, what are you going to make of this, Wendy?'”
