“We had a beautifully healed daughter. Our marriage was stronger than ever. That’s when everything changed, again. Words cannot describe how scared we were. We were again trying to hide our struggles behind fake smiles. That’s when they heard it.”
‘I had a stroke at 28 years old. Everyone assumed I was dehydrated or passed out. Soon enough, I was signing for my husband to take me off life support. Then reality hit.’
‘You’re too young to get married,’ they said. I was 22, fresh out of college. This man was 8 years my senior. ‘What do you see in him? It will never work.’
“If you can get past my pencil-thin eyebrows in this picture, then you might see LOVE. Young love. ‘What is he doing with someone your age?,’ they asked. Well, I’ve got some words for you.”
‘My boyfriend is on the couch. ‘What is wrong?,’ he asks. ‘I’m pregnant.’ I said sobbing. He turned his TV show off and hugged me. ‘What do you want to do?,’ he asked me.’
“I was 19 and in college to be a teacher. Getting pregnant was the last thing on my mind. I had goals, aspirations, a dream career. Everything was going right. My boyfriend and I had only been dating for 6 months, we barely knew each other.”
‘My innocence was taken by a 19-year-old. We jumped into a ‘relationship.’ I let him take me into bed because ‘My innocence was already taken. Why did I need to pretend like I had it?’
“I felt like I was important and loved. A few months later, my mom took me to the doctor. I was pregnant, at 15 years old. He hit me in the back of my head multiple times but he took me to Taco Bell after, so he still loved me. Where else would I go anyway?”
‘I want to leave. Your grandpa is scaring me. I just want to leave. Pleeeeaase!’ My friend shuffled in and closed the door. Her face was red, and she was crying. She looked terrified.’
“Grandma would witness him touching me and she would quickly brush it off. ‘Don’t do that! That’s you’re granddaughter!’ He’d laugh and say, ‘Not by blood. Haha.’”
‘I thought, ‘How is THIS nothing to worry about?’ The walls were closing in. Everything turned black and I couldn’t move my body. ‘It’s common for college students to be under a lot of stress.’
“I decided to request one specific blood test; one that was much harder to receive than it should have been. I had to basically force my doctor to test me. One week later, I was finally given the answer I had been longing so badly for.”
‘When we got engaged, he didn’t get down on one knee. There was no grand gesture. He just handed me a ring in the car without saying a word. ‘I wish to God I never met you.’
“Right after we got back from our honeymoon, I began to notice a change. ‘If we get along next week, I’ll file the paperwork,’ I said to myself. Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. Nearly 2 years went by. I never changed my name.”
‘How many times are you going to wear that outfit?,’ one of my wife’s 4th graders asked her. She then gave her a smug, twisted-lipped look. It made me rage.’
“I’ll be honest, this story gave me pause for a few reasons.”
‘Why didn’t you call the police?’ ‘I would have fought back.’ ‘Well, why didn’t you?’ ‘You got married really young. Did you see the signs before you were married?’
“I would hear the words, ‘I want a divorce,’ for the first time, on our honeymoon. A friend had an intervention with me. An aunt told me, ‘You know, you don’t have to do this,’ right after we were engaged. I remember scoffing, thinking, ‘All it takes is commitment.’”
‘When I was 18 years old I felt a lump in my breast. I immediately made an appointment and was quickly dismissed, young women my age didn’t get breast cancer.’
“Everyone stops you and says hello and asks how you are doing. All I could think, all I wanted to yell is, ‘Not great, today I have cancer!’”
