“There was a woman asking for parenting advice on the internet. Firstly, that’s just stupid… but I’m not here to point fingers.
She wanted to know if it was unreasonable to leave her 12-week-old baby behind because they really needed the holiday and some ‘us time’. She wanted to reconnect with her husband. It was so divided. Everyone just focused on the baby thing. But I thought a bit more about it.
Sarah and I have been together for 10 years now. Life’s busy. It’s crazy and it’s full on and it’s probably not gonna slow down for the next 20 years or so.
With kids and jobs and commitments we don’t get much ‘us time’ either. And I totally get where the woman was coming from. I get why she wants to get away and I get why she sees alone time as the catalyst for them reconnecting in their relationship.
But you know what I don’t get?
I don’t get why people always try to black out all the noise in their life just to reconnect with a person. Because if that person really wants to be with you; The noise won’t even matter.
When two people are both trying they’ll find a way to love each other after a big day’s work.
They’ll get excited about their future and sit talking for hours on end about the things they want to achieve together.
They’ll hold each-other as if they were still the fit teenagers who once dated.
They’ll laugh silently while the kids are asleep, and they’ll look for excuses to get up to the same mischief they always did.
Having kids is tough. Work is tough. Life is tough. But no matter how tough it gets; you gotta learn to stay connected during the boring shit too. It’s those little things every day that make the difference. You have no idea how much a kiss or a message can make them remember all the things that made you fall in love.
But either way. Don’t for one second think you need to put life aside to reconnect with someone.
Because no matter how bad you feel, smell or look. There’s nothing to prove;
If you can’t sit over a bag of hot chips, look down at the child you created, look back up at the person who did that with you and feel more of a connection than you ever did before… you don’t need parenting advice.
You need relationship advice.”
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