‘Your voice got loud. You said I made a nasty mess. I’m sorry, mama. I didn’t mean to make you mad. You look so pretty today.’

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“Dear Mama, this morning you woke me up with a kiss.

It was like was I still dreaming, but I wasn’t. This is my favorite part of the day, because you are so calm and peaceful. You have time for extra cuddles, and the day starts so gently. I wish we could do this longer.

I love you, mama.

You cooked me oatmeal for breakfast.

It is so fun to eat! When I squished it around, it made a funny sound that made me giggle. It felt neat and oozy on my hands, and before long I was bouncing it around in the air. It was fun! But, you didn’t think so. Your voice got loud and you said I made a nasty mess.

I’m sorry, mama. I didn’t mean to make you mad.

You look so pretty today.

I love your soft hair and your make-up. I might like to put some make-up on my face, but I don’t have any. You run around searching for your phone, and I have an idea! I saw a marker in the other room. I run and get it, and I color my lips. The marker feels good on my skin, so I color all over my face. I bet I look beautiful! But, you didn’t think so. You said I get in to everything, and that I know better.

I’m sorry, mama. I didn’t mean to make you mad.

You say it’s time to go.

You start to put on my shoes, but I do not like the way they feel. I want to wiggle my toes and stretch my feet around. I do NOT want to wear shoes today. You keep trying, but I keep screaming. I really don’t see why you are forcing the issue. You said for me ‘just to be still’ as you crammed my tiny foot in the shoe.

I’m sorry, mama. I didn’t mean to make you mad.

You took me to the park today.

I was so excited to run free and climb and swing. You like to play too, mama. I remember one day you went down the slide, and it was so fun! But, today you had to send an email, so I played by myself. I was a little sad, but it’s ok. I saw a butterfly and chased it all around. I guess I ran too far, because you started yelling. You said it was dangerous and I am not allowed to leave the park.

I’m sorry, mama. I didn’t mean to make you mad.

You made dinner tonight.

You sang and danced all around the kitchen. I love to see you have fun, mama. You served me something that was NOT chicken nuggets. I do not want to eat this. You said I have to eat what’s for dinner. I screamed and cried. I got so angry I threw my plate. I don’t really understand how to control by emotions yet. You sighed very loudly and said ‘that was it!’ I am going straight to bed.

I‘m sorry, mama. I didn’t mean to make you mad.

You put on my pajamas and your angry face starts to melt away. You say I am growing so fast. You say I am the most precious thing in the whole wide world, and you tickle my tummy as I laugh harder than I have all day. You laugh too, and it makes me feel tingly and happy. You zip up my jammies and give me a big hug that somehow lets me know you will always be here for me.

There is nowhere I would rather be than inside your arms, mama.

This life is still so new. There is so much I want to see and touch and explore. But there are so many rules, and it doesn’t seem like I get many choices. I have big feelings that get me in trouble. I feel safe with you, and I do not like it when you are upset.

I’m sorry, mama. I never mean to make you mad.

You rock me and sing me a song.

I don’t know what all of the words mean,

but I love the way they sound.

Your arms are warm, and you smell like home.

You are so beautiful.

When you look at me with your eyes full of love,

I know that everything is ok.

Thank you for being patient with me as I learn and grow.

This world is very confusing, but I really do like it here.

I love you, mama.”


This story was submitted to Love What Matters by  Momstrosity. It originally appeared on their Facebook pageSubmit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.

Read more from Momstrosity:

‘I laid with my son before bed. I looked in his eyes, and noticed tears started to run down his cheek. This was a look of defeat. ‘Okay mom, I’m sorry I am bad.’

‘Are they ALL yours?’ My husband loves to whisper, ‘Not all of them are mine. My wife went through a wild phase.’

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