Any stepmom will tell you blended family life is no walk in the park! But there’s no doubt that behind every cloud is a silver lining, and stepmomhood is no exception. Here are some reasons why I can honestly say I am grateful for my experiences as a stepmom, the good AND the bad!
You truly appreciate every single second of alone time with your husband.
As a stepmom, you learn very early on to not take quality time with your man for granted. What may be just another weekend for a regular wife feels like a romantic mini-vacay for a stepmom when the kids are away.
Your husband has experience.
I know a lot of stepmoms (SO been there) resent the fact their husbands have done this whole marriage and baby thing before, but let’s be honest here… It’s pretty awesome when your husband already knows how to change diapers and rock a baby to sleep, while a lot of first-time dads are standing wide-eyed on the sidelines while mom does all the work.
You are forced to face your own issues and deal with them.
Being a stepmom brings out every insecurity, jealousy, and negative emotion you’ve ever had. Your sanity and marriage depend on your motivation to confront and work out all of those issues you’ve been carrying around since childhood. Because of this, you are more self-aware than the average person.
Your husband is a better father to your children.
This may not sound that great if you don’t have children of your own yet, but trust me, one day you’ll get it. Because my husband was a single father basically since day one, he is used to being a very involved and engaged parent. Never once have I worried about leaving our son with my husband, because he moms like a BOSS. There isn’t another man on the planet I would leave my child with, just being honest. Plus, he actually gets how hard being a mom is!
Your husband is a better husband.
He’s already figured out that married life isn’t a hallmark movie and doesn’t have as many unrealistic expectations about marriage. Nope, he isn’t shocked when you don’t fold shirts the way he does or forget to thaw the meat out 3-4 times a week. Your husband has had the chance to reflect on the mistakes he made the last go round and is determined to not make those same mistakes again.
You will be a better parent to your own children.
As horrible as it sounds, being a stepmom means you get the chance to learn from someone else’s mistakes. You will see firsthand the effects of both good and bad parenting on your step kids and will know what to do, but most importantly, what NOT to do with your own child when that time comes.
Your husband appreciates you on a totally different level.
A level first-time husbands could never even comprehend. Everything your husband loves about you is magnified x 1000 because of how drastically different it is from what he’s experienced in the past. Even when things aren’t going perfectly smooth in your marriage, he is still grateful for your relationship because he knows firsthand just how bad it could be.
Your relationship with God will grow exponentially.
It doesn’t take long for a stepmom to realize she just can’t do this thing without God’s supernatural love and power. Because you are desperate for God’s comfort and strength in a way you have never experienced before, you are constantly seeking Him and building your faith muscles. Being a stepmom means MORE OF HIM!
Your marriage will be stronger than the average marriage.
All of those things that almost destroyed your marriage actually reshaped it into something unbreakable, a powerhouse comprised of God, your husband, and yourself. Your marriage has gone through more trials and testing than most normal marriages go through in twenty years and the payoff is an authentic, unshakeable, and fiercely devoted love.
You have the divine privilege of shaping the life of another human.
Even though it can feel more like a burden than a privilege sometimes, it really is so amazing that you get an up close and personal opportunity to be a real, godly influence on a child that, otherwise, would have never been in your life. What an incredible honor!
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Rachel Dunne, the Spiritual Stepmom. You can follow her journey on Instagram and her website. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
Read more from Rachel here:
11 Things You Should Know Before Marrying A Man With Children
An Open Letter To Soon-To-Be Stepmoms
Dear Stepparent, Your Partner Will Never Heal From Their Past If You Keep Rubbing Their Nose In It
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