‘Cookies are not breakfast!’ They’re all crying. One fights me for 10 minutes to allow me the pleasure of wiping poop off his arse.’: Dad hilariously says ‘I’ve had a huge slice of humble pie’ after first ‘paternity leave’

“I hide for a bit. They find me like they’re sniffer dogs and I’m selling pills at a festival. I clear up the crafts, wishing whoever created slime a slow, gruesome death. They’re all crying now. They scream, ‘Daddy we’re bored of this film!’ repeatedly and very loudly.”

‘I took him to the ER. His circumcision didn’t look to be healing right. We had a gut feeling something was wrong.’: Parents perplexed after newborn’s near-death scare, ‘He’s a fighter’

“His temperature wouldn’t come above 95 degrees. The doctor said it was ‘fine’ and set to discharge us with a prescription for antibiotic cream. We had a gut feeling something was wrong. The doctor was white as a sheet. ‘This test can’t be right.’ Life stopped when he was 5 days old.”

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