5 ‘Truths’ To Stop Normalizing In Marriage And Motherhood

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There’s a trend happening in the world of “Mom blogging” I think we need to talk about. We are normalizing EVERYTHING for the sake of our own comfort and to help others feel less alone. But what if we are confusing common for normal? What if we are unintentionally perpetuating a life of unhappiness for the sake of being “normal?”

Here are five “truths” I think we need to stop normalizing in the world of marriage and motherhood…

“Truth” #1: It’s Normal To Hate Your Spouse

Can you even imagine if our husbands were on this app calling us names and complaining daily about how idiotic we were?! Venting and joking about the truths of marriage? Cool. Talking sh*t about our spouses online? Very uncool.

“Truth” #2: It’s Normal To Feel Miserable

We have to stop normalizing misery in marriage and motherhood. Is it hard? Yes. Does it require constant effort? Yeah. Are there times when we feel close to losing our sanity? Often. But this current trend of normalizing a life of misery perpetuates unhappiness and depression and is straight-up TOXIC. Get help. Go to therapy. Gain new skills that will help you enjoy life more. Stop accepting misery as your truth.

couple rests their heads agains one anothers
Courtesy of Kulli Kittus (via Unsplash)

“Truth” #3: It’s Normal To Resent Your Kids

Harmful views toward children disguised as “humor?” HARD PASS. This is a huge red flag in motherhood and is a sign you are lacking support – both physically and mentally. It’s not normal and you and your children deserve to enjoy this time of life.

“Truth” #4: It’s Normal To Hate Mom Guilt

We all LOVE to make mom guilt the villain. And sometimes, she is. She’s a liar and feeds off of our insecurities. But sometimes, it’s not mom guilt. It’s us ignoring the hard truths for the sake of our own comfort. Is it mom guilt? Or is it uncomfortable to admit maybe there are things we could and should be doing more or less of?

“Truth” #5: It’s Normal For Moms To Do Everything

Mothers are bada** and could probably carry the weight of their families forever if they had to. But you don’t have to. Ask for help. Demand it. Make a chore chart for your entire family – your husband included. Schedule alone time. Invest in yourself and your interests. Just because we CAN wear every hat does not mean we should.

mother sits at table on her phone while having child on her lap
Courtesy of Vitolda Klein (via Unsplash)

It Doesn’t Have To Be This Way

Remember…

  • You are in control of your happiness in marriage and motherhood.
  • If you are unhappy in your marriage, explore that. Go to therapy. Make changes. Don’t settle for a mediocre marriage.
  • Take time to research and gain new skills that will help you understand and enjoy your children.
  • The current narrative does not have to be YOUR truth. Take control and decide what you want.

Look, all I’m saying is sometimes, accepting things as normal only perpetuates what is making you unhappy even longer. Unhappy in your marriage? Address it. Work on it. Heck, go to counseling until you are in a better place. Just don’t accept it as normal.

Same thing with motherhood. If you accept misery as being normal, you will never strive to experience anything different than that. You will live in that misery forever instead of seeking ways to enjoy it all more.

There is danger in normalizing things that actually aren’t normal at all.

family of four sits in bed together, mom holds baby while father entertains young child
Courtesy of Jonathan Borba (via Unsplash)

This story was submitted to Love What Matters  by Emmy Bennett from Oakdale, California. You can follow her journey on  Instagram and her website. Submit your own story hereand be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more from Emmy here:

‘Once I was able to identify the source of my unhappiness, I was able to focus on ways to remember who I was.’: Mom shares importance of self-care in decreasing bitterness

‘Blended does not equal broken.’: Mom recounts beautiful blended family, co-parenting journey

5 Ways To More Effectively Ask Your Child, ‘What’s Wrong?’

5 Tips For Taking Control And Recapturing Happiness

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