Amanda Doulos is a digital editor for Love What Matters based in New York City. She will graduate from Binghamton University with a Bachelor of English Literature and Spanish in Spring 2023. She loves staying involved as vice president of the mock trial team and secretary of Spanish Honor Society. In her free time, she loves reading, traveling, and spending time with friends.
“My dad had a massive heart attack. I remember thinking I may never get to meet this man, and if I didn’t in this lifetime, I didn’t think I’d ever truly be OK. I packed a few things and jumped in the car.”
“I dropped to my knees, tears pouring down my cheeks. I couldn’t breathe. When my husband came through the door, I ran to him with pure excitement. This was it. We were finally going to be parents and I was on cloud 9!”
“My feelings about girls weren’t going away, no matter how much I prayed to God. When I’d have to go to church or school, I’d be reminded I was going to go to hell for my thoughts and feelings.”
“They couldn’t find Luke’s heartbeat for several minutes. I started to go in and out of consciousness. Before they could even put the partition up, they had begun a crash vertical C-section.”
“As much as I tried not to let marriage and motherhood consume me, they did. With each immeasurable compromise, parts of me were lost. It happened slowly, over time, and I didn’t catch this until it was too late. Until I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize who I was.”
“I was walking down the hallway at the office the day after our first date (and kiss!) and thought about Chris and skipped. Like, legit, on one foot, in the air, skipped. I knew Chris was special and I liked him, but skipping? I was in trouble.”
“Please do not put words in our mouths. We are here, and we have opinions of our own. Do not diminish our voices to, ‘At least your mom chose life.'”
“‘Why don’t you do something normal for once?’ They would pretend to be interested in what I was doing but then talk to me like a baby and leave to go laugh with their friends. All of this was really confusing at the time, and I’m only just starting to realize how awful some of these people actually were.”
“My love is not a cage. My love is about freedom. My love does not obligate you to anything, and that has been one of the biggest blessings I have received in the queer community.”
“Once all my tests came back ‘normal,’ he asked, ‘Does bipolar run in your family?’ I was so defeated and felt I needed to swear off doctors altogether. Sadly, swearing off doctors doesn’t make symptoms go away.”
