Without Hurt And Betrayal, I Would Have Never Met My Husband

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The Betrayal

“Life, at times, is known for giving us all lemons. Some much more than others.

I recall the time I was cheated on by a partner for someone that claimed to be my best friend. Yeah, definitely a lemon-ish moment in my life.

Even so, betrayal can spark blessings. Here’s the story of how I met my amazing husband after a former partner and a former best friend betrayed my trust.

Before I met my husband, I was dating someone who just wasn’t a great partner to me. I’m not here to knock anyone, but there were a bunch of red flags. He was aloof and all around not affectionate with me.

He wasn’t a faithful partner, and I’m led to believe that he frequently cheated on me at parties and bars I was conveniently not invited to. I should’ve rightfully called it what it was and ended the relationship early on, but I persisted.

My former best friend was dating a guy who was shipping off to basic training. He was a great guy, always emotionally available and constantly spoiling her and wooing her family. There was a period when she would hang out with me and my boyfriend while her boyfriend was out of state.

We would all go out to dinner and local sporting events together, even the movies. We all got along and I felt for her that her boyfriend was away and I wanted her to feel included. After a while, it started feeling weird though.

I noticed that my boyfriend and friend were acting strangely, making it a point to hang out without me. My boyfriend also seemed weirdly protective of my friend, too. At first, it was small enough that I didn’t give it much of a second thought at all.

But then, we planned to go to the movies together one evening. No big deal, right? Well, my boyfriend ended up picking up my friend first.

She was riding up front with him and when they stopped to pick me up, and she wouldn’t move to let me sit next to him. I was quiet the whole ride, and both of them kept asking me why I was acting strangely. I denied being upset, but deep down I KNEW what was really going on.

That night, he wouldn’t so much as touch me or hold hands with me while she was with us. I asked if we could drop off my friend after the movie and hang out. He told me no, proceeded to drop me off first, and took her home.

The next day, I gathered my things from his place and told him I was done. He was confused and angry when I told him I felt unloved. He told me I was wrong and stormed off.

Saying Goodbye

Of course, he went to my friend for consolation. Soon after, she was blowing me up with texts and calls asking me what happened (before anyone else knew we broke up). I gave her short and limited answers and never accused either of them with anything.

For a few days after, I barely spoke to her since I guessed she was the reason why my boyfriend had acted cold toward me. She tried checking in constantly and I told her I just wanted time and space alone. She posted about what an awful friend I was for not processing the deterioration of my relationship with her.

She cried to people who would listen about how her friend group fell apart. It was just a week or so after that she messaged me.

‘I think I’m going to break things off with my boyfriend,’ she texted me. The boyfriend she bragged about? The kind and hardworking guy that gave her whatever she wanted, that was across the country at basic training?

Of course I knew where the conversation was going. She told me she found someone new and wanted to see where the relationship would go. And it was with my former boyfriend.

She proved my suspicions true and lied to me about the timelines. I was angry, but not really surprised. After all, she knew what she was doing while trying to console me the week prior.

Not only had she been sneaking around with with my ex behind my back, but she’d also cheated on her boyfriend, who was away for army training. I instantly ended our friendship and told her how hurt I was and that I wanted nothing to do with her or my ex-boyfriend ever again.

The news broke to her boyfriend with time. They weren’t together long and, after he discovered she was cheating on him, he immediately broke up with her. Eventually he reached out to me because we were both going through the same thing: the people we were dating cheated on us for each other.

Finding Love

He checked in with me each week when he had his phone for a few hours on Sunday. We quickly formed a friendship and processed what happened together.

After a while of being friendly toward me, he told me he liked me. He was still in basic training and, initially, I’d shot him down. But I had liked him too, I just didn’t want to date him based off of what had happened.

Time passed and my friends told me he was a great guy and if I liked him, I should go out with him. Multiple people told me we seem to make each other happy and neither of us were to blame for what happened to us before. Soon after, we began dating each other.

Even though I didn’t deserve being stabbed in the back by a former friend or being betrayed by an unfaithful partner, something INCREDIBLE happened as a result. I met an amazing and sweet human being. I fell in love with a genuine person who I was able to build a friendship with beforehand.

I get to build a beautiful life with someone I love because of all the hardships I was put through before. And even though the past was painful, I wouldn’t change a thing. I wouldn’t be with my husband, who blesses my life every single day in countless ways.

I have a partner who loves me for me, who loves going on adventures with me, who builds with me so we can have a prosperous life together. And I have better friends now too, as a result!

Even though life hands us lemons, we can do our best to make some really great lemonade. Life often blesses you most when you least expect it.”

Bride and groom hold hands on trail
Courtesy of Kristen

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Kristen.  Subscribe to our free email newsletter, Living Better—your ultimate guide for actionable insights, evidence backed advice, and captivating personal stories, propelling you forward to living a more fulfilling life.

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