“My mama bear instincts told me to find another way. I told anyone who would listen what my dream for survival was. I fought until I required full-time oxygen.”
		- Love What Matters
 - Health
 
		
		  “My mama bear instincts told me to find another way. I told anyone who would listen what my dream for survival was. I fought until I required full-time oxygen.”
		  “A few months later, we found out we were pregnant again. It was a day full of pure happiness, and we knew this time it would work out. A week or so later I started having some pain and concerns. We were told it was another miscarriage. Five days after being told we miscarried, the pain was back and so incredibly severe. My OB said, ‘Take some Motrin, and hopefully it would go away.'”
		  “My addiction was the only thing bringing me peace. Keeping it a secret made me feel stronger. I felt like I was going to let my son down before I even had him.”
		  “I had every negative thought you can think of. ‘Will she be okay? Will our lives revolve around hospital visits now?’ The little girl I envisioned was fading away.”
		  “I was loving life and living my dream…yet I knew I wanted more.”
		  “It did a number on my already-raw heart. A week later, I was FaceTiming my mother-in-law. I kept the camera angled towards my husband Luke—careful to ensure no one caught a glimpse of my healing body I was suddenly insecure about. During the call, I was thrust into the camera view.”
		  “I walked out of the office and something just clicked. I didn’t want to live my life this way anymore. The racing heart, nausea, paralyzing fear, uncontrollable shaking. I knew in my heart there had to be some other option.”
		  “You went on to say it’s okay, and it’s not her fault, and it’s not my fault. It’s just what is. I cry as I type this.”
		  “At 6 a.m., he got up to get a glass of water. I do not know what he actually drank, but when he came back into the bedroom, I heard him opening the safe. The next thing I knew, I heard a loud noise.”
		  “‘Ian is dying. There is cancer everywhere! Did no one tell you this?!’ We made it to Hawaii. In the back of my mind, I knew he wouldn’t be coming back. I had not only lost my husband, my soulmate, and the father of my two children, but I also lost our beautiful future together.”